Last time we discussed Transformers: TCG – the new card game that has many parallels between it and Magic: The Gathering, we looked at The Metroplex Pack, which introduced the new concept of Titan Cards.
Well Wave 2 is coming out now, and since we already have Titans on the board, it’s time to introduce the other behemoths from the Transformer franchise – gestalts. Rise of the Combiners will be introducing gestalt teams such as the Predacons, which looks to open up the range of gameplay even more.
However it’s not just the Combiner Teams that are being introduced in Wave 2. We are getting some other new Hero Cards as well, along with some new Battle Cards for gameplay. Once again, Hasbro has been kind enough to offer bigangrytrev.com an EXCLUSIVE SPOILER to reveal! So in this exclusive reveal let’s look at one of the new characters as well as one of the new battle cards: Dirge, Doombringer and Defensive Driving.
*Note: Like last time, no money has changed hands for this EXCLUSIVE SPOILER, and Hasbro & Wizards of the Coast have in no way tried to dictate the contents of this blog article.
HERO CARD:
DIRGE, DOOMBRINGER
I was pretty chuffed when Hasbro gave me Dirge as an exclusive reveal. Dirge was my first ever Transformer way back in the 80’s, so whilst not the most popular of the Seekers, he has always held a special place in my heart.
The Artwork
The artwork for this card was originally seen in a TF game app years ago, Transformers Legends. Though that game is dead and buried, the fantastic artwork from it still crops up here and there and has been seen with some of the collector cards that came with figures from the Titans Return, Power of the Primes and other Transformer toy lines. It’s great this artwork has seen the light of day again and Dirge looks excellent here, blasting away in his robot mode and conversely zooming off in his jet mode. The art of both modes are based on the Generations toy Dirge received back in 2010, to my mind the best toy of Dirge we’ve had (perhaps barring the Masterpiece version that came out a couple of years ago).
Card Power
The term ‘Dirge’ has to do with laments and music for the dead. And the way this card plays on the board is very appropriate for the character’s name indeed, for he kills the weak stone dead and gains power from the death of others.
Robot Mode
Dirge is rocking stats of 2 Attack, 11 Health and 2 Defence in robot mode. Whilst not staggering stats, it’s his power of Pierce 1 that makes him so valuable. It means no matter the defences up, Dirge is going to inflict at least 1 damage to his opponent, very handy if your opponent has characters that are well defended but also on the brink of death.
Jet Mode
Jet mode has stats of 4 Attack, 11 Health and 2 Defence, so much like the robot mode. The power of his alt-mode is to get an extra attack point for every character you have KO’ed of your opponent. So if you have KO’ed say 2 or 3 of your opponents Hero Card’s already, it can bring Dirge’s attack up to a power of 6 or 7.
Card Functionality
The above powers means both sides of Dirge’s card greatly complement each other. You can use the Pierce 1 of his robot mode to kill off weak opponent cards, then flip to his alt-mode in order to gain extra attack power from those aforementioned KO’ed Hero Cards. You then use this extra power to knock off your opponents healthier Hero Cards. This gives Dirge a great deal of latitude in regards to what kind of decks you can put him in. Indeed Dirge will be a real asset in particular to decks where you have other Hero Cards taking care of the major offensives and defences. Make sure you use him in the right deck though – at 8 Stars he will take up nearly a 3rd of the total stars you can use to create your team. Used correctly however, Dirge will indeed be a bringer of doom!
BATTLE CARD:
DEFENSIVE DRIVING
Artwork
The artwork for this card is actually taken from the IDW Transformers comic book series. In particular the subseries Maximum: Dinobots, published all the way back in 2008/09. The picture shows one of the Sunstreaker clones (bearing a striking resemblance to Cordon), created by Scorponok, defensively driving out of the way of a tail swipe from Grimlock. I love the fact that this card series takes its artwork from so many different sources, not just the one.
Card Power & Functionality: UPGRADE – ARMOR
It’s a good thing that these cards are intended for the more advanced way of playing Transformers: TCG rather than the basic, as there is no way my 6 year old son could figure out the power of this card, it even took me a minute of two!
Essentially this card offers extra protection to your characters when played. Whilst not defending from a direct attack, what is does do is lessen the damage taken from non-direct attacks by your opponent by 1. This can be extremely handy to play when your opponent has multiple non-direct attacks set up on the board, as they can add up and easily KO one of your Hero Cards. With this card protecting one of your characters, your Hero Card stands a much better chance of surviving non-direct attacks in order to fight another round.
So as we see, Transformers: TCG continues to expand. I personally will be hoping I find both Dirge and Defensive Driving in blind packs when they are released in March this year.
Though not as popular as chooks, more people are starting to keep ducks. Some just as pets, some as livestock, or maybe like us to sell the Organic Free-Range Duck Eggs they produce. And for anyone that keeps poultry, breeding your birds is great but can lead to problems.
For the most part, mother nature can look after itself. And I’ve learned the hard way over the years that human interference can often cause more harm than good. Many’s the time I thought I was helping with the birth of one of our ducks and, through a misguided sense to do good, actually caused the death of a hatching duckling rather than save it.
However sometimes you do need to intervene. If you are a professional farmer of ducks, chances are you already know all the tricks and even have the right equipment to handle things (incubators and what have you). However if you are a backyard duck farmer like me, you have to rely on your wits and what is to hand.
First off, if the membrane and yolk sac are still intact – do NOT break them! Chances are there are still blood vessels attached to the duckling. Just let it keep doing its thing – it can take up to 24 hours for a duckling to emerge.
If the membrane and yolk sac are broken and the duckling seems unable to free itself, just sit tight for a few hours and keep checking on it. Again, it will probably get itself out.
Now worst case scenario. It’s been hours since the duckling broke through the egg shell, membrane, yolk etc and its still not getting out. Here is where you may have to intervene. Chances are it’s premature and it doesn’t have the strength on its own to break out. At our place this can be a real concern, as we live on a farm rife with tiny ants and I’ve lost more than one duckling to ants pouring into the hole of the shell. Here is what you do:
1: Take tweezers, or use fingers if you cant find any, and very carefully peel away the eggshell a tiny bit at a time.
2: Once the shell is peeled away, you should be presented with a very wet (and if premature quite small) duckling. As long as it’s breathing then come away. Being premature it should take longer than usual for them to get on their feet as it will be very weak. Keep checking back but try and let the mother duck take over.
3: If you come back and the duckling is still lying in relatively the same spot then it’s time to step it up. Once again, on our farm the ants are horrid so sometimes when I come back I’ll find a poor weak duckling unable to move and covered in tiny little sods all chowing down on both duckling and yolk.
4: Take the duckling inside and prepare somewhere warm. If you have the knowhow then you can try to set up a makeshift incubator with a warm light globe and a cardboard box and pop the duckling in. Otherwise body heat is perfect. Clean the duckling up as best you can, wrap it in a thin towel and cuddle it to your chest. If there is more than one person in the house then taking turns is a good idea, as you will need to do this for a while and let’s face it, who has a heart cold enough to refuse to cuddle a duckling?
5: Ducklings often don’t eat for the first 24 hours, but sometimes with premature ones they need some extra strength to make it through, especially if they hadn’t absorbed a lot of the egg yolk before hatching. What I have found works best is to start off with sugar water. Simply dissolve a little bit of sugar in room temperature water. Put this in something tiny and low and hold it under the ducklings beak. Hopefully it will drink something and provide it that little energy boost needed to make it through the coming hours.
6: If the duckling has managed to keep down some sugar water, then you can move on to use a similar technique with chick starter (tiny grey granules fed to young poultry). Grind these granules up even smaller and once again add to room temperature water. Once again, it may not eat and drink, but if it does the mix will be perfect for providing it that bit of extra nutrition to survive that it missed out on by emerging early.
7: Despite body heat being perfect, when it comes to bedtime do not take the duckling to bed with you, you might roll over and squash it! Instead take some towels and create a little nest in a cardboard box. Place the duckling inside and very gently lay a light tea towel over the nest. Ducklings sleep under their mothers wings for the first few weeks and this will be a good approximation. Having a dark, warm and soft place to rest hopefully should lull your duckling in to having a much needed sleep in order to build up its strength.
8: If your duckling is still alive in the morning, chances are it’s going to survive. Keep an eye on it for a few hours to make sure it is making noise, its feathers have fluffed out and it is eating and drinking. If so, great! You should have successfully turned your duckling from this:
Saturday Afternoon
To this:
Same duckling – Sunday Afternoon
Congratulations! You saved a duckling! Now perhaps the hardest part of all. You have to give this cute fuzzy little duckling back to its mother. The sooner you return the duckling the better. The longer you leave it, the harder it will be to reintegrate it to its family and the more attached it will be to you (and chances are you to it). But if all goes well, within a week the duckling should have caught up with its siblings in size and strength to the point you wont be able to tell them apart.
Now sit back and enjoy watching the cuteness abound.
Got any other tips for helping a premature duckling? Or want some extra advice? Pop it in the comments section below!
Several months ago I did a short video showcasing from my personal collection 100+ Generations Decepticons. Well now it is the Autobots turn. These figures are mainly of G1 characters who have received an update through toylines such as Thrilling 30, Combiner Wars, Legends, POTP and so on.
So enjoy this short video I made of the display. Also below you will find some screenshots and a full list of the Autobots onshow, along with links to reviews of many of the figures displayed here – have fun!
My wife doesn’t like pork. There, I’ve said it. It’s a shameful thing to have to admit about ones spouse but there it is. Likes ham, tolerates bacon… but hates pork. My daughter likes pork to a small extent and my son merely tolerates it. So in a house of four people we have a total of one pork lover – me.
As a result I am always trying new recipes to try and convince my family to eat swine flesh on a more regular basis. Most make the meat reasonably OK for them but it never truly converts them.
However I have finally hit on a recipe that even my wife will happily eat! Saucy and tasty, this will make even those whose religious faith make them eschew pork commit heresy and chow on down – Pork Cutlets with Creamy Mustard Sauce.
Ingredients
6 large Potatoes
2 Red Capsicum
1/4 cup Wholegrain Mustard
1 tablespoon Olive Oil
1/3 cup Chicken Liquid Stock
4 large Rindless Pork Loin Cutlets
1/2 cup Thickened Cream
1/4 cup Flat-leaf Parsley L:leaves
Salt & Pepper
Method
*Preheat oven at 200 degrees
*Cut the potatoes into wedges and thickly slice the capsicum, place into a baking tray.
*In a bowl, mix up the mustard, olive oil and liquid stock.
*Pour mix over the vegetables. Place loin cutlets on top and season with salt & pepper
*Place in the oven for half an hour
*While food cooks, chop up parsley leaves and put into a bowl, add the cream
*At half hour mark take out the cutlets and wrap in tinfoil. Pour the cream and parsley mix over the vegetables and put back in the oven for another 10 minutes.
*Put the food on a plate. Sit back and let everyone compliment you on how good it looks.
Oh hells yeah!
*Devour. Threaten others that if they don’t do the dishes this time round that you will never make such a meal again.
And there ya go, a pork recipe to delight the family and ensure you actually get to eat pork once in a while.
Enjoy this recipe? Lets us know in the comments section below!
I’ve had a bit of a love affair with hot sauces over the years, and like most things which are not good for you, the more you indulge in them the bigger the hit you want the next time.
For Xmas 2018 my in-laws gave me two hot sauces, the first was:
Darkhorse
Aged 6 Years
Limited Edition
Super Hot Sauce.
An impressive title.
The second came in a smaller black bottle. It’s title simply read:
GOD SLAYER
FUCKING HOT SAUCE
At dinner we were having several kinds of meat so I decided to try these hot sauces out. I asked my 3 year old daughter which one I should try – the tall red and yellow bottle or the little black one.
Unfortunately for me, she picked the little black one.
Now before we continue I should introduce you to something called the Scoville Scale:
The Scoville scale is a measurement of the pungency (spiciness or “heat”) of chili peppers and other spicy foods, as recorded in Scoville HeatUnits (SHU) based on the concentration of capsaicinoids, among which capsaicin is the predominant component.
Now to give you an idea of spiciness – your average tabasco hot sauce comes in at around 3,500 SHU. The Pepper Spray used by police to incapacitate people comes in at 5,000,000 SHU.
I have been unable to find a SHU listing for the Darkhorse. But God Slayer comes in at a whopping 6,400,000 SHU. That makes it (besides limited edition novelty releases) the third hottest commercially available hot sauce on the planet!
Of course, I did not know this at the time.
So I got some chicken and liberally coated it with God Slayer. Took a big old bite.
The effect was instantaneous. My lips, tongue and mouth in general were on spice-driven fire! If it had been a cartoon flames would have been shooting out of my mouth! I urged my brother-in-law to fetch some milk and spent the next several minutes using milk and bread and beer to try and put out the flames in my mouth.
After about 20 minutes I was OK and decided to try the Darkhorse Super Hot Sauce. Put some liberally on my pork and took a big bite. Like when I did the 15 hot sauces challenge and the chilli beer I had after tasted like water, this time the God Slayer had seared my tastebuds so much that I couldn’t even taste the Darkhorse. I had another helping 5 minutes later and found the same. So at this stage I had devoured 3 helpings of hot sauce in 45 minutes, one of them the 3rd hottest sauce on the planet.
The Effects
*At first I was fine
*Then my belly started to gurgle
*After that for about half an hour I became flatulent, to the amusement of myself if not others
*After that I became somewhat nauseous
*After that I felt quite nauseous so went and lay on the couch while the rest of the family continued to enjoy the Xmas festivities outside. Think I even had a little nap.
*Went back to my mother-in-laws to bed at around 10.30pm. Felt a bit nauseous still and had a tiny bit of a sweat on but nothing major.
*1am: Wake up and the backs of my hands were on fire! Looking at them I was surprised the flesh wasn’t blistering! Went and ran them under cold water.
*3am-7am: Up and down all night feeling nauseous, having hot flashes in my hands and feeling like I needed to defecate but couldn’t.
*8am: Wake up to nausea. Go and sit on toilet. Diarrhea finally hits and the song ‘ring of fire’ pops into my head as my body purges itself of molten lava from my rectum for at least half an hour.
8.30am: Start to panic. Am supposed to be taking my son and his friends to see the Bumblebee Movie for his birthday soon. Tell my wife she may have to go in my stead. She brings me water, pain killers and stomach pills for me to devour.
9.30am: Pills kick in. The ordeal subsides.
So it was a fairly horrible experience in the end. It turns out the heat in my hands was due to me drinking beer after the God Slayer. It essentially diluted it and put it into my bloodstream where it traveled around trying to find a place to vent the heat. As I was wearing pajamas the only parts of my body exposed and cool were my face and hands and thankfully it went to my hands.
So did this all happen purely due to the God Slayer or did the two helpings of Darkhorse contribute? So sigh…. I am going to have to test this so this blog post might have a sequel down the line. In the meantime, for the next few weeks at least, my mouth (and subsequently my colon) might give the hot sauce a wide berth.
Got a hot sauce experience of your own? Would love to read it in the comments section below!
Back in the late 80’s the Transformers brand was starting to suffer. Something new had to be tried. So in direct reaction to the popularity of Micro Machines, the Transformers made Micromasters. These were actually pretty cool little toys! You could get them in packs of 4 or 6, some had bases, some could combine, and they were pretty cheap to get. I know for myself I collected most of the Decepticonones to try and even out the amount of each faction I had as a kid, having to track down the Autobot ones as an adult. Micromasters got a brief revival in the Universe line in 2003, but didn’t grab the toy consumers imagination.
Here we are in 2019 and Micromasters are back! And the first wave of the War For Cybertron: Seige line is made up of 3 pairs, each pair making up half the members of their original patrol team. So lets have a look at some classic G1 characters, most we haven’t seen in 30 years!
BATTLE PATROL
Flak & Topshot
Robot Modes
Flak is so unchanged from his G1 incarnation that I had to look twice to make sure it was a new figure. Topshot (formerly Big Shot) also represents his G1 heritage well. Both have far more detail in their faces and their bodies overall. Both have knees but no elbows or head swivel.
Vehicle Modes
Once again Flak looks very much like he did in G1, though with some cooler details on his missile ports. Topshot has lost a bit of length from his turret (maybe that’s why he had to change his name) but this is made up for by being able to swivel the gun up and from side to side with a great degree of control than the G1 toy allowed. Both get top marks!
Weapon Mode
Topshot becomes the back half with his turret becoming the gun peg, with Flak making up the front to become an oversized missile gun. Looks a bit odd being held by a Deluxe Sized figure, but would suit a Voyager sized bot well.
AIR STRIKE PATROL
Visper & Storm Cloud
Robot Modes
Visper (formerly Whisper) has a nice amount of detail and looks quite good. Storm Cloud is odd as in he is the only figure out of this entire wave of Micromasters that has elbows, yet at the same time he lacks hands. An odd trade off. Besides this Storm Cloud does however look good otherwise.
Vehicle Modes
Both Visper and Storm Cloud are both very faithful to their G1 origins, while adding a bit of extra detail to their jet forms that one would expect after a 30 year hiatus.
Weapon Mode
Quite a decent looking sword, nicely balanced and well proportioned. Yes Visper is still obviously completely in jet mode but Armada’s the Star Sabre set the precedent for that. Very cool!
RACE CAR PATROL
Roadhandler & Swindler
Robot Modes
Swindler had shoulders that put Ultra Magnus to shame, and its hard with the lack of elbows to position his arms anywhere but down that doesn’t cause him to fall over. Roadhandler looks quite decent. Both suffer from having massive holes in their chests which are required for the weapon mode.
Vehicle Mode
Swindler still resembles a Delorian, which is great for us of the generation that grew up on Back to the Future movies. Once again, Roadhandler looks decent as well.
Weapon Mode
Pretty weak. You simply fold over the back of the car and insert the other car on top to make a weapon that sorta resembles the Double Targetmaster ones from G1. The only slightly redeeming feature is that they are the only pair that can swap spots, so either character can become the top or bottom half.
Worth Getting?
Yup! A cheap price point, an outing for G1 characters we haven’t seen in 30 years, very faithful to their origins and now with combined weapon modes. There are a few drawbacks sure: little articulation, the legs come off really easily on all figures and whilst you can combine the different teams bots to make new weapons, only a few of them look decent and are better off with their original partner. However these are small quibbles. I heartily recommend picking these guys up and really hope that the other halves of their teams get released in the future.
Got something to say about these little figures? Pop it in the comments section below!
The relatively short first season of the Cyberverse cartoon has come to an end, but new toys are still turning up on the shelves. I must admit I am eschewing most of them but when I saw Acid Storm in a local store I couldn’t help but pick him (or is it her?) up. So let’s have a look at the characters first foray outside of the Generation One universe with Cyberverse Warrior Class Acid Storm.
Robot Mode
‘It’s not easy being green’
The wing shape over the shoulders is reminiscent of the characters Thrilling 30 toy. And the colour scheme? Well the colour scheme is very G1 reminiscent, ya gotta give it that. We are talking green here. I mean, really green. Besides some grey on the torso & thighs and a yellow cockpit there is very little to break up the overpowering green to be found here. This may be case of where being a G1 homage might be taken a little too far.
G1 Acid Storm
Toxic Slice
The flip out toxic wings
The gimmick here in robot mode is to swivel the entire upper body around a couple of times and let it go, making it spin and the coloured end sections of the wings spread out. It doesn’t work, which is to say it works too well. Acid Storm spins so fast it’s just a blur and you can hardly make out the wing segments at all.
Jet Mode
Pretty stock standard with little to recommend it above the litany of other TF jets out there. The backs of the legs are visible from above and the annoying thing is you can’t take out Acid Storm’s landing gear without having to reverse the transformation somewhat. A bit of a let down overall.
Is He a She or She a He?
A ‘He’ on Cybertron……then a ‘She’ on Earth
There is a bit of confusion over the gender of Acid Storm. In the cartoon Acid Storm’s first appearance on Cybertron portrays the character as male. Yet on Earth the character is definitely portrayed as female and appears in multiple episodes as such. Yet when one looks at the toy, the toys box art and the official Cyberverse website Acid Storm is once again male. Therefore we are forced to conclude that the character was intended to be male, but the writers at some point after the initial Cyberverse episodes arbitrarily changed the gender.
The official website description
Worth Buying?
Battle of the average toys
To be honest, not really. The transformation is uninspired as is the jet mode and colour scheme and the whole toy feels cheaply made. The Toxic Slice gimmick is also a joke. However it isn’t a completely horrible figure and it’s nice to see Acid Storm finally get an outing in a non-G1 toy line. So if like me you are a Seeker enthusiast, you may wish to pick this guy (or perhaps gal) up.
Got something to say about this figure? Pop it in the comments section below!
Today, instead of interviewing our usual Aussie Transformers Fan, we will be interviewing an international one, and someone who could be considered the quintessential expert on all things toys. Today we are in fact interviewing the Jolly Fat Man himself, Santa Claus.
B.A.Trev: Santa, thanks for joining us for this interview. I appreciate this is a very busy time of year for you.
Santa: Ho ho, no problem Trevor. I’m a big big fan, love your work.
B.A.Trev: Glad to hear it. And thank you for being so generous over the years.
Santa: Oh ho ho, you’ve always been such a good boy!
No coal in my stocking!
B.A.Trev: Now, are you aware how these interviews work?
Santa: Oh yes, I read everything on your fantastic site so I’ve seen all the previous interviews. Have at it!
B.A.Trev: Ok, here we go:
QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU Real name or what friends call you?
Saint Nick, but my friends call me ‘Joe’
Country you live in?
I actually live on constantly converging and shifting sea ice in the middle of the Arctic Ocean. Makes getting the mail a real headache.
Your occupation?
Anthromorphic Personification of Yuletide cheer and commercialism
Your dream job?
Surfer
Your age?
I stopped counting after 300, it got depressing.
Single/married/kids?
Got a missus. There are lots of children-sized elves that work for me but they are NOT my kids, no matter what that lying bitch Debbie in accounts says!
What other (non-toy) interests do you have?
(sighs) Keeping warm
What type of music/movies/TV/books do you enjoy?
I’m a big fan of Die Hard. A great Christmas movie and book!
TRANSFORMER QUESTIONS Transformers Allegiance, if you had one?
Ho ho, an Autobot of course!
Your Techspec motto if you had one?
‘Whatever happened to wooden trains?’
What existing, official Transformers character best describes you?
Astrotrain, he can carry a huge amount and fly around the entire planet in one night!
Which special ability of any Transformers character would you want to have for yourself?
Skywarp’s teleportation, then I’d never have to go down another damn chimney again!
Do you think you will collect Transformers until you die?
(looks morose and resigned) Other people get to die, I just have to go on… and on…. and on. Never do I get to feel the sweet kiss of eternal slumber.
Have you attended any fan-meets, Fairs, Conventions?
Well, I attend a lot of shopping malls I guess.
Any creative endeavours with Transformers (drawing, writing, customising, etc)?
I outsource all that these days.
Favourite series/era/year, and why?
Beast Wars – all the kids in that era wanted were pointed sticks and to not get eaten by robotic insects.
Least favourite series/era/year, and why?
Cyberverse – where is the craftsmanship? I’d fire an elf on the spot if he designed that Warrior Megatron figure.
Collect any comics (which ones)?
Do you know what snow does to paper?!
Favourite Comic issue/story, and why?
The IDW Holiday Special is a wonderful! The Dreadwind one where he is visited by ghosts is very good as well.
Favourite Cartoon episode/story, and why?
Definitely Transformers Animated: Human Error I & II. The one where Gears becomes all jolly is a favorite from years gone by.
Favourite Video/Board game and why?
Transformers: The Robot Warrior Game. No electronics to soldier.
Favourite Character, and why?
Tracks. He is a flying car – no rule that says ground vehicles shouldn’t fly, it’s very believable.
Sexiest Transformers (robot) Character?
Toys are NOT sexy! They are to delight youngsters and encourage play and creativity…
Which Transformers character would you want to exist for real?
Tidal Wave – big enough to house my manufacturing plant and he won’t sink every time the ice moves. (looks exasperated) Honestly, why did I choose to live there – it makes no sense!
First Transformers toy?
I remember making a little wooden man who when you folded him backwards would look like a horse. I thought it was a real winner until Ms Claus pointed out that the mans (expletive deleted) became the horses tail. What’s wrong with it being anatomically correct I say? You have dolls that (expletive deleted) and (expletive deleted) themselves for the kids to clean up for (expletive deleted)s sake!
Worst toy(s) ever in your opinion?
Atari Jaguar – do you know how long it took to make the controllers for that thing? 3 elves died of exhaustion and then no one played with the finished product anyway!
Toy(s) that were most disappointing when you got them?
An elf once presented me with a snow globe with a figure of me inside. Yeah, that’s what I want, to be in more (expletive deleted) ing snow! I kicked his little (expletive deleted) so hard he was (expletive deleted)ing blood for a week!
Thoughts on gimmick and non-convertable Transformers toys?
Non-convertible Transformers are great! Take zero time and effort to build.
Thoughts on unlicensed fan-project figures/accessories?
Wannabe toymaker hacks – the lot of’em!
Thoughts on Crossover Transformer toys (Star Wars, Street Fighter etc)?
I always thought some Yuletide ones were in order, maybe a sleigh that turns into a jolly figure in a red suit? Would be a real winner!
Thoughts on the Transformers Brand over the last five years?
They seem to get more simplistic as the years progress which is less work for me I guess. Takes an elf about 5 minutes max to put together a Cyberverse toy.
Which single TFs toy should every fan own?
Optimus Prime – he is big red and his trailer is magic!
Which Transformers toy/product would you give as a wedding present?
Don’t I give enough presents already?!
B.A.Trev: Many thanks for answering those questions. Do you have time to answer a few questions sent in from fans?
Santa: Ho ho, of course Trev, anything for all the little boys and girls out there.
Hey there Santa. Pretty sure I asked for a G1 OP circa 1984/85. Any reason you didn’t deliver?
(Just so there’s no lingering ill-feeling, would be happy to accept one this year. MISB if you please).
Because you were on the naughty list then and you are still on the naughty list now! I’ve seen the Facebook clips where you demolish perfectly good toys in order to ‘make them better’. How do you think that makes me feel!? My craftsmanship isn’t good enough for you – you need to turn a perfectly good Transformer into a MOTU figure!? Screw you Michael – if I see you you’ll be getting a lump of coal shoved straight up your ass!
From Trent
So Santa, there is only one of you. And obviously there is a limit to whatever black magic you tap into to fly around the World in one night. This is most evident in the fact that no 2 Santas are the same when it comes to Christmas photos. So how do you explain it? My parents tried saying that they are your elves dressed up but we both know that’s false. Your elves are far too short to impersonate you. How do you justify holding kids to the high standard required to get presents year after year when you yourself lie and send impersonators, impostors even, in your stead? Do you see the hypocrisy here Santa? What does Mrs Clause think?
It’s called outsourcing – just be thankful all my Santa’s aren’t some call-centre rejects from the 3rd world. And I’m trying to grow a franchise here, people pay me to dress as me and give me a cut of their earnings, then they recruit 10 more people to dress as me and they get a cut of their earnings and so on. It’s called an ‘iceberg scheme’ and everyone wins!
As to what Mrs Claus thinks, just leave that alone. The day I came home to find her in bed with 3 Santa Impersonators and she swore that she thought I had just used some Xmas magic to clone myself in order to really give her stocking a good stuffing – it still haunts me to this day! I don’t wanna talk about it anymore.
Also, my next question; Why only the Christian world? What you got against everyone else you fascist?
They believe in me, they get a gift. They don‘t believe in me then they don’t. I live off the belief and worship of others and in return they get crass consumer products. It’s not fascism, its commercialism – where have you been?!
Santa: I thought you said these questions were from fans?
B.A.Trev: Er… yes. But I think some of them are more my fans than yours.
Santa:Grumble, fine let’s just get the rest over with.
My question, I was always the good child growing up and my brother the naughty one yet he was younger and always got more presents than me. Wtf?
There is a thing called ‘The Hitler Gene’. It’s very diffuse now to the point that even when both parents have it, it doesn’t guarantee that all their kids will. You have it, he doesn’t. How do you think people would react if I was heaping extra presents on the opffspring of the great great, great nephew of the 15th cousin thrice removed of the world’s greatest monster (not counting the guy that came up with Kiss Players)? Don’t blame me – blame Uncle Adolf!
Santa, so.. lugging all those toys around… how do you manage the storage of the pressies and where do they hide on the sleigh? Is it like Optimus Prime‘s magically disappearing trailer? And if so did he show you the trick or did you show him?
Indeed I do use a subspace fold in order to increase the storage capacity of the sleigh. I have to admit, I learned it from him. I might be centuries old but he has a few megaannum on me.
Do you deliver presents to good protoforms on Cybertron too? Or do you delegate to a Cybertronian (and if so who?)?
I have a couple of reps on Cybertron who handle things up there on my behalf
Megatron was responsible for billions of deaths but has turned over a new leaf abroad the Lost Light. Has he done enough to deserve a present this year or will he get coal again? (Of course he could turn that coal to Energon so maybe that’s not a bad gift for a Transformer)
Well I have to handle things year by year. I can’t not give little Timmy a present this year because of naughty things he did the year before. So yes, Megatron will be getting a present…
… an old copy of ‘Interstellar Travel Guide to Pleasant Planets’. Of course most of the planets in it have been destroyed because of his war, but it can’t be helped if my gift reminds him of all the death and destruction he caused can it?
From Mayza
Movie Optimus has been executing Cons, will he be getting a lump of coal?
Those Cons were killing humans. Less humans means less belief to power me. Have at them I say Optimus! It’s ‘Peace on Earth, Goodwill towards Men’ not ‘bots’.
Also Santa, what are your thoughts on Michael Bay, will he also be getting a lump of coal?
I think all the reviews of the new Bumblebee movie, when compared to the reviews of The Last Knight, will be punishment enough this season.
After giving so many of us coal for so many years, do you regret that now, given you could have been giving us solar cells or something similar?
People were supposed to stick those lumps of coal under a heap of heavy books for a few hundred years so their descendants could have diamonds – not my fault if people burned perfectly good gifts!
Also, my kids said they’d like the first issues of Whatever IDW are going to produce next for Transformers, I told them it was a long shot since it’s not available yet, but they insisted.
I’ll have a chat with Vector Prime and see if something can be worked out.
B.A.Trev: Well Santa, thanks so much for taking the time to answer all these questions today.
Santa: Ho ho, my pleasure, Merry Christmas to all!
(sotto voce as he walks out) except for that Trent guy, now there is someone who is going to feel the sharpened end of a candy cane shoved right up his stocking!
Over the past 5 live-action Transformer movies we’ve come to expect certain things. From the humans: wacky, half-psychotic characters and overly-sexualized stereotypes. From the robots: zero characterization and dialogue, overly-complex bodies and fight scenes one has no hope of following. Throw in a few convoluted plots and some smutty humour and badda-bing badda-boom, another TF movie pumped out by Hollywood.
However Transformers 6 – Bumblebee, seems to be something different. Something GOOD!
What a delightful breath of fresh air this movie is! It contains none of the issues listed above, and replaces them with relatable characters, great dialogue and a lot of heart!
The Plot (yes, there is one this time!)
The Bumblebee movie is actually a prequel to the last 5 movies, set in 1987. Bumblebee comes to Earth, after a 10 minute opening scene which will have every G1 fan looking for the tissues for their eye ducts (and possibly elsewhere) due to the amount of fan service contained within. The first 10 minutes is based on Cybertron and showcases G1 characters actually looking like G1 characters, still in their Cybertronian modes having a huge battle! They are all there – Soundwave, Shockwave & The Seekersall blasting away at the likes of Wheeljack, Arcee, Brawn, Ratchet and so on. Seeing the battle will be lost, Optimus Prime orders the Autobots to evacuate Cybertron and sends B-127 to prepare a base for them on the aforementioned Earth.
Arriving on Earth, B-127 is almost immediately attacked by the US Army (their involvement one thing that has not changed) and then near killed by Blitzwing, the only character in the movie bearing no resemblance to his G1 incarnation (besides having a jet mode). B-127 loses his voice, loses his memory, and manages to scan a Volkswagen Beetle before going dormant.
We now get introduced to the heroine of the story – Charlie. Just turned 18. But unlike Sam Witwicky she doesn’t seem like a nutjob. And unlike every female character before her, she seems to dress in a way that doesn’t border on the pornographic. In fact, Charlie turns out to be a very endearing character that the viewer comes to care about. This was a very smart move on the part of the new writers and directors, going with a female-teen instead of a male and keeping sexuality completely out of it. It stops them retracing old ground from the TF1 and good on them. In fact all the humans are fairly likeable and all seem to serve a purpose to the plot, rather than being thrown in for the sake of it.
You know what? It IS as sweet as this pic suggests!
At the same time this is happening, the only two completely new robot characters in the movie – the Decepticons Shatter and Dropkick make an appearance. In fact starting off by torturing Cliffjumper on one of Saturn’s moons looking for B-127. They soon find their way to Earth, adopt car alt-modes, (and later secondary flight alt-modes) and search for the missing Autobot in order to find Optimus. They trick the human army into letting them use their equipment and the race is on!
Bad guys with dialogue – what a twist!
From there it could be said to be the usual. Charlie reactivates B-127, freaks out, he freaks out, they bond, they have some loveable adventures, they get found by the military, he saves her, she saves him, he saves her again, they get found by the Cons, have a huge fight and then save the day. It’s kinda predictable but is an enjoyable ride and very entertaining to watch.
Continuity Errors
Being a prequel, this movie should match up with the previous 5 and set the stage for TF1. It doesn’t. There are multiple continuity errors brought up in this, such as Bumblebee only arriving in 1987 when yet in The Last Knight he was shown to be present during WWII. Optimus arrives on Earth that same year rather than in 2007. The Transformers know English rather than learning it from the world wide web. There are many more but you get the drift. To be honest, this really should have been a reboot rather than a prequel, as this is far better than anything that has come before and I’d rather have the new ideas than the old.
G1 Goodness!
What?! Arcee isn’t a motorcycle that goes around on one wheel and has a face like a smashed in colander?!
For your G1 fans, this is the movie you always wanted. Bumblebee is a VW Bug. Optimus is a short-nosed truck with a big silver trailer. The Seekers on Cybertron are Tetrajets. Everyone looks like everyone hoped they would all the way back in 2007. There are plenty of Easter Eggs, it brought joy to my heart to see my son whoop with joy when Bee started playing ‘You’ve got the Touch’ when encouraging Charlie to dive. It’s… it’s just beautiful!
A PG Rating
Another smart move made by the makers of this film is making it PG rated. A lot of the adult Transformer fans have become pretty jaded from the last four films in particular, so this enabled the producers to open this flick up to a younger audience untarnished by Michael Bay scrotum jokes. And it’s worked. My son turned 6 three days before TF6 was released, so it was perfect to take him and his friends to. And they loved it! Some kids that age might find a few things scary, but most will enjoy it. No blood from the 2 humans that get killed, minimal swearing, zero sexuality. It was a smart way to go.
So worth watching?
Yes. YES. A thousand times yes! This is the movie we hoped for many years ago! So much heart and character and humour and joy! Great for kids, amazing for G1 fans; the only ones disappointed will be those in love with the Bayverse and those folk are hard to find these days. Take the whole family out to see this, you will not be sorry!
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Nasty little parasites who eagerly buy up all the figures they can and then flog them for twice the price. Evil pricks without an empathy or remorse.
No, I don’t like scalpers – no sir!
Now I want to make a distinction here. I don’t consider scalpers people who sell rare old toys for a lot of money. Yes sometimes the prices they ask are ludicrous, but there is no rule saying you have to buy what they are selling. You need food. You need water. You need sleep and shelter. You don’t need action figures.
So if someone has an old toy from the 80’s that they are selling for 10 times what it originally cost, I don’t consider that scalping. The toy is not available anywhere else, it’s been maintained for 30 years, chances are there is someone out there that is willing to pay the larger amount and be happy with getting a long sought figure. That’s fine, no problem
No, what I consider a scalper is some unscrupulous sod that goes from store to store (and even online) when a new figure is released, buys every single one, then is selling them on eBay half an hour later for twice the price or more. In those cases you are a scalper sod. A prick of the highest level! Because you are stealing the opportunity for others to buy the item fair and square and then making them come to you to buy it at an inflated cost.
As a Transformer Collector, I have seen 3 major incidents of scalping over the last 6 years:
2013 – Hasbro Masterpiece Soundwave
Everyone was so excited for this figure! An MP Soundwave with 5 cassette warriors included! Personally I got on the American Toys’R’Us website the moment it was listed and refreshed the page for an hour until I finally got one in my basket. Only then to be thwarted at the checkout with ‘This item does NOT ship internationally’. Would have been nice for them to have that on the product listing. No wonder the company went out of business.
Half an hour later the item was completely sold out. And surprise surprise, within the hour those Soundwave’s were being listed on eBay for twice the price. Usually with the disclaimer ‘shipping will be delayed two weeks’ because these pricks didn’t even have the figure themselves yet!
The same thing happened in the US when Soundwave hit the physical TRU stores. People were walking in the moment the doors opened, taking every single MP Soundwave off the shelves and then going through the checkout. So if you came in at 10am – too bad! You want that toy now? You have to go online and pay the bastard that came in at 9 twice the price!
2015 – Combiner Wars Devastator
Picture provided by fans still annoyed years later
Rather famously here in Aus, there were several people (and I use the term loosely) in particular that went from store to store in Capital Cities and bought every single one! Once again, those figures were then listed online for twice the price within a day. The outrage on the Aussie TF chat forums was palpable. But to show the lack of ethics and empathy inherent within your average scalper, one seller even went online showing a photo of himself with a stack of Devastator’s and thanked the irate members of theOzformers site for all the free publicity.
2018 – Heavily Discounted TLK Figures.
What the items cost in stores…
This has just happened within the last week here in Australia. Big W had a sale where a large range of figures fromThe Last Knight were being sold in stores at incredible discounts. Most notably Voyager class figures were going for $5! So many TF fans were rushing to stores to pick up figures they had previously been unable to afford, only to find the shelves empty. Why? Because the F’ing scalpers had bought them all and stuck them on eBay – that’s why!
…what the toys cost a few days later. Only a bit over 15 times the price!
So why do scalpers annoy me in particular?
This last incident, despite affecting my collecting the least, has annoyed me the most. I was lucky enough that a friend in the US was able to find a lone MP Soundwave sitting in a TRU for me, and likewise my mother-in-law was able to find a CW Devastator in Bathurst by asking the staff who luckily still had two sitting in their storeroom, the shelves themselves now bare. I missed out on the TLK figures last week but, for myself, I don’t really mind. I would have liked to pick some up at that price but it’s not like they were figures I felt I had to have.
No, what annoyed me about this last incident is it was robbing struggling families of the opportunity to buy a big toy at a cheap price at Xmas time. There are a lot of families doing it tough and can barely afford to eat, let alone get their kids a decent present. Especially out here in rural NSW where we are still in the midst of a shocking drought.
Transformers aren’t the cheapest of toys, and there are lots of little boys and girls who will never own one because their parents can’t afford it. Some of these kids wonder, when they have been good all year, why Santa won’t even bring them a little robot, whilst the kid up the road who habitually beats them up gets a PS4 under their tree. For those kids and their parents, the opportunity to buy a $50 Optimus Prime for only $5 would have been a godsend at Xmas! But nope, the scalpers had to go and buy them all up first and now eBay is awash with them. Bastards!
So scalpers out there, I say this to you: You are scum. You are filth. You have no kindness or empathy in your hearts. I may not believe in God but I do believe in karma and I hope you never sell a single figure. I hope that under your Xmas tree this year you find naught for yourself as you don’t deserve a gift. And I hope most of all that maybe you meet one of these struggling families one day and you have to stare into the face of those whose opportunity to give their kid a happy Christmas you stole. Maybe that might make you finally have some self-reflection. Because right now you are not a part of humanity, you are simply a leech that feeds of it.
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Visper & Storm Cloud
