Living in the countryside for a pop-culture fanatic can be hard. Everyone plays footy instead of watching sci-fi and good luck when it comes to finding someone that can translate a Klingon text for you. However if you are in Victoria, at least if you are into comics you are covered, thanks to a shop called Good vs Evil.
Located in Bendigo, Good vs Evil would easily have the biggest comics range in central Victoria. A whole wall in adorned in comics and there are usually plentiful stacks of all the latest issues to come out that week sitting on the counter for you to peruse.
Like many comic shops these days, Good vs Evil has diversified to take into account the ever expanding needs and interests of the Pop Culture enthusiast. There are sections of DVDs, a full section of various Manga and of course the obligatory collectables such as Pop! figures and and board games based on movies and video games.
There is also the Games Workshop section. Now all that stuff is kinda a closed book to me, I tend to look at it in the same way outsiders look at me collecting Transformers, thinking “Wow – do the guys into this ever get laid?”. But I’ve seen on Saturday afternoons the store opened up with tables set up for big groups of guys all sitting there playing this stuff so it must have its appeal, and its great to have somewhere to meet to indulge the interest.
Speaking of Transformers, here is why I personally shop there. Matt, the owner, is a fellow TF fan and I have been relying on his faithful service to get me every TF comic I require for the past five years. He always comes though, and something that is a sign of a proprietor that genuinely cares about his clientele, I’ve often rocked into the store for him to say “Trev, I saw this and knew you would want it and chucked it aside for ya”. After this fashion I’ve gotten all the FP TF publications over the last few years as well as the physical copies of what were originally net comics. And if ever I find out about a comic that is now years old that I want, Matt is sure to do his best to track it down for me – a top bloke indeed!
How can you not trust two dudes in Grimlock t-shirts?So if you are after a Comic Shop experience where the owner is the guy behind the counter and will look after ya, will cater for everything you need to the best of the stores ability, and can be a great place to just hang out, then I heartily suggest visiting Good vs Evil in Bendigo. Tell’em Big Angry Trev sent ya!
P.S: There has been no ‘Comics for Comments’ deal here. If anything I’m slightly resentful towards Matt – I’d love nothing better than to run my own comic shop and that bugger is living the dream I should be!
Note: If in one of the major cities I can recommend Pulp Fiction in Adelaide and Comics R Us in Melbourne. Pulp Fiction is small but the owner is great for a laugh and will pour through box after box to find you what you want. Comics R Us in Melbourne has a funny crew of guys who have often had Bill Hicks playing on the store speakers of a Sunday morning and their glass cabinets often have a range of old 80’s toys in there that the rare toy hunter will drool over. Minotaur in Melbourne has a huge range of pop culture stuff but it can all be quite expensive. There is also Kings Comics in Sydney that I visited many years ago that I found some HOC figues at and I quite liked Daily Planet comics in Brisbane. I’ve been to one other there but can’t remember which. Should I ever hit up these big cities again a more detailed review will come your way!
To boldly go where no movie has gone before? Well, considering this is the 13th Star Trek flick its going where the movies have been going for decades! Simon Pegg once said that every odd numbered Star Trek movie is shit, considering he cowrote this one lets see if his prophecy is self-fulfilling with Star Trek Beyond.
The third in the new series of Star Trek movies, this picks up a few years after the last one, where the crew of the Enterprise are three years into their 5 year mission. Kirk is getting sick of travelling deep space and wants to move to the admiralty (as he had in the very first, and arguably, very worst Star Trek flick) and Spock is considering resigning his commission to go help what survivors of the Vulcan race are left after the events of the first of the new Star Trek movies.
But of course, something comes up (otherwise this would be a movie about politics and administration and we already have the Star Wars movies from the 90’s for that). An alien woman asking for help for her crew stranded on the other side of a nebula which blocks all scanning and transmissions. And off goes The Enterprise like intergalactic boy scouts to do some good.
Very quickly we are treated to a big space-battle scene. Thousands of dart-shaped ships acting as swarm, smashing into the Enterprise from all directions! Some of these darts pierce the ship to release soldiers, others are just used to tear big holes in the hull. The Enterprise very quickly finds itself completely outmatched and over the prolonged scene we get to see it completely destroyed a piece at a time. Soon only a damaged saucer section is left and it goes crashing into the planet below (much like Star Trek: Generations).
The reason for all this? Some little disk thingy the bad guy wants, that ironically Kirk tried to give to a bunch of ugly little fraggers at the start of the movie that were too paranoid to accept it. After everything moves planetside the bad guy discovers he does not have it due to a switch and all the surviving Enterprise crew are either held in a detention camp or, if they are one of the stars, emerging from evacuation pods in the forest.
We are treated to some nice scenes between Spock and Bones during their struggle to find shelter for the seriously injured Spock, though they lack the magic, adversarial repartee that Kelly and Nimoy were always able to bring. We also come to know the one good alien in the movie, a blond, slightly scary, slightly sexy survivalist who Scotty brokers a friendship with. Over the film she becomes one of the few characters you actually come to care about – for an alien she comes across a lot more fragile yet strong and human than most of the actual human characters. Strangely, Kirk doesn’t try to shag her, it must have been an off day for him what with losing the Enterprise and all.
As the crew on the loose hatch a plan, we get to see the why the bad guy wanted the disk (which Kirk had hidden in a crewmates head. Considering it was Kirk and a female crew member this shows unusually tactful restraint on his part). It triggers a bio-weapon that completely destroys organic life. As weapons go, it’s just a little black cloud so not nearly as impressive as the black-hole generating red goop of the first of the new flicks. He plans to release it into a gigantic space station we saw in the film earlier and which is really one of the major feats of CGI in the movie – it looks fantastic as a brain-bending, gravity altering snow-globe in space.
So off the bad guy goes with his dart-ship armada to lay waste while the crew, now rescued by Kirk on a motorcycle, find an old starship and fly off to stop him. What we are treated to is the next big battle scene in the movie which on the one hand is awesome and the other hand has a lot of holes in it. The crew discover that all the darts share a link to stop them crashing into each other and it can be disrupted with loud enough noise if broadcasted close enough. So on goes a track by The Beastie Boys and they surf the space-wave of darts, them blowing up by the thousands to some bitchin tunes!
It sounds awesome, it looks awesome, but in the context of the movie it doesn’t make sense. None of the darts are ever seen to be drones, they all have pilots, so why didn’t they scatter from each other? Also, the ones stationary on the Space Stations hull also blow up – why? They are not crashing into anything and it’s not like the dart and Bones and Spock are flying blows up as well. And while there were thousands of darts before, there are MILLIONS now! Certainty a lot more than were seen leaving the planet earlier. But it makes for cool candy for the senses and we are talking about fictional space battles so I suppose one should not treat it too seriously.
As the battle with the main bad guy (naturally his ship survived while millions of others didn’t) moves into the space station we find out the truth about him. It was his ship on the planet that crashed there over a hundred years ago and through alien technology he and his crew found there they discover a way to live longer, though it mutates them and allows them to an extent to change their bodies. Now I liked this on the whole as I felt one of the things lacking in this movie up to that point was a backstory for the antagonist as well sufficient reasoning for him attacking the Federation. It turns out he was a Captain during wartime but when the wars finished and the Federation evolved into a peaceful society, he found himself a solider without a fight. Thus the bad guy in this movie, much like the Star Trek 2 and Star Trek Into Darkness is a human with extra powers. Kinda cool.
However as cool as this is it leaves more plot holes in the storyline. How did the crew of one small ship, over the course of not much over a century, grow into the millions? How were they able to construct so many of those ships? And if their longevity comes from sucking the lifeforce of other humanoids, how did they find enough aliens in this supposedly remote sector of space to do that without resorting to cannibalizing each other? Frankly, even in this fictional world, it just doesn’t make sense for this old captain to have been able to make such a force with such limited materials and manpower over that time period.
Anyway, the movie comes to its rather predictable conclusion, and reaching the 2 hour mark you feel well and truly ready for it to be done. Protagonist fights antagonist, Kirk sacrifices himself to save space station which results in bad guy getting eaten by own weapon, Kirk about to die but saved by Spock and Bones. For a pretty good movie, the ending was very by-the-numbers and you instinctively know what is going to happen before it does.
So despite the flaws mentioned, is Star Trek Beyond worth watching? Well, yes. The acting is good, the special effects are excellent, the battles are entertaining and if you are a Trekkie like me you can’t bypass one of these flicks. There are also for the Trek savvy lots of nice little Easter Eggs, such as Scotty saying that a ship was taken by a giant green hand (it happened in TOS – no really, it did!), Sulu having a daughter and his partner being male (Sulu had a daughter in Star Trek Generations and in real life George Takei who played him in the original series is a proud homosexual and proponent of gay marriage) and lots of other tiny little nods to other iterations of the franchise. There are also some nice homages to Leonard Nimoy who as most of you would know appeared in the first two new movies but died before this one. Whilst not delving too deep and not being too morose, both at the start and the end of the movie we are shown new Spock dealing with the death of the original Spock and what implications this has for the world.
So yeah, set your phasers to ‘relatively-fun’. It may go where other movies have gone before, but at least it does it with extra explosions and a bitchin soundtrack!
Last year, after having it a few times at a friends house on their beautiful home-grown goat meat, I discovered I had a bit of a taste for Hot Sauces! So when Fathers Day came around I found myself presented with a present with 15 Hot Sauces in it!
Now, we were having a big rib night at casa’ de Trev and my friends challenged me to eat all 15 Hot Sauces. Their challenge was to try them all in one evening, but as ever I had to up the ante and decided I would take a big beef rib and try all 15 Hot Sauces inONE BITE! Then to take it even further (like the idiot I am), I decided that I would wash it down with ‘Chlli Beer’ – promised on its to bring tears to the eyes!
This video records the results. Enjoy!
Incidentally, everyone that drank the chilli beer was coughing hard after the merest sip. To me, with my fried throat and tastebuds, it genuinely tastes like water.
The third in my reviews of the first wave of the new Titans Return toyline, today we are looking at the Deluxe figures. This is the only size that is evenly distributed, two Autobots and two Decepticons. And like the Voyager line they all have Cybertronian alt-modes. So lets have a look at what is predominantly the cast list from Seasons 3 & 4 of a cartoon decades old – Blurr, Hardhead, Scourge and Skullsmasher.
Blurr – Robot Mode
The fastest bot in all Cyber-Mexico!
Whilst not as tall and lanky as the original it does look really good. You can position the noscone from the hovercar mode either on his arm to simulate the shield the original toy (and the Animated toy) had, or you can put it on his back to simulate the original toys backpack which is where it is supposed to go anyway for transformation. Very easy to pose with lots of points of articulation.
Hardhead – Robot Mode
Very indicative of the G1 version of the character. I think it’s a nice touch that you can maneuver the cannon on his back to sit up or over the shoulder. Quite good articulation, well proportioned, good colour scheme, poseable. Only downside is his size – he could stand to be a bit bigger, especially when compared to his G1 and Universe incarnations.
Skullsmasher – Robot Mode
The eyes on Grax are a bit too dark, and while this simulates the G1 toy I think the Takara head looks better. The tail, like the G1 toy, becomes a hand weapon but it’s a bit too big and can’t really be positioned on any great angle. Out of the four new Titans Return deluxes he is certainly the weakest of the four. Also his alligator claws come off really easy in this mode.
Scourge – Robot Mode
Fracas is a bit too boxy and the laser on the top doesn’t stick up enough to be properly noticeable. Besides that this is a pretty good looking Scourge with a good colour scheme, articulation and the proportions and wings work well. I think he will be serving as a Sweep next to the G1, Titanium and Generations versions in my collection.
Blurr – Cybertronian Hovercar Mode
Now THIS looks like the speedster we all know and love, not a recoloured Drift. Very compact and sleek, it’s a great representation of the character. The laser under the front even works well. The little hatch for his Titans Return partner is good and it even incorporates the little gap between the back and the cabin that the original toy had – top marks! Only one big downside is for a Titan Master to have his own vehicle you unattach the nose of the car which leaves the front of Blurr looking gutted and horrible.
Hardhead – Cybertronian Tank Mode
A bit flatter than the G1 version, very streamlined, very much how he looked waaaay back at the start of the IDW comics before they gave him his Universe-styled body. Once again the cannon is maneuverable and like the G1 toy you can place a gun in the top of the cannon. Furos can either sit in the cab or the back of the cannon opens up so he can be stood there. He looks a little weird standing right back on the pegs he is supposed to so I personally reposition it so that he looks like he is operating the gun.
Skullsmasher – Cybertronian Gator Mode
A really good looking gator! Very long and well proportioned. They have done their best with the colour scheme so it doesn’t look as sickening as the G1 versions does and I really like the details in the mouth with all those individual teeth and the segmenting detail on the tounge. The head can swivel somewhat which is good, but it can be hard to make the tail sit flush with the gators arse. Grax’s compartment actually has a rubber hatch which is an odd choice and the placement has changed, instead of being afraid he would get swallowed like the G1 toy, in this case he already has been and is half way to the gut.
Scourge – Cybertronian Hovercraft
Like Blurr he is really compact and really good looking. One of the most triangular of body in shape ones I’ve seen done of the Sweep class, looks a lot like they did in some episodes the Season 3 cartoon. You can put his big blaster on the front of the hovercraft which makes him look pretty badass, but obscures a lot of the nicer details of the mode. I actually think Scourge having a small cockpit works, it is flush enough with the rest of the hovercraft that it doesn’t change the aesthetic much, however it’s still noticeable and the dark blue hue suits it well.
Overall
The Titans Return toyline, as well as acting as a revival for the Headmaster gimmick, is filling a lot of holes for peoples Generations collections. We now have a Scourge that’s not a flying wing, a Blurr that’s not a terran car, a Hardhead that’s not a SWAT armoured vehicle and our first Skullsmasher(cruncher) of the line. G1 fans will be very happy with the appearance of these four, others may be happy with the versions they already have. But between the great alt-modes, the little Titans Return partners and the overall decent quality I heartily recommend these four figures.
The second in my reviews of the new Titans Return toyline, today I am looking at the Voyager-class figures, namely Galvatron and Sentinel Prime. As both former leaders of their factions its nice to see them get bigger figures based on the characters – lets see if their new triple changer/headmaster forms work shall we (rhetorical question – we shall. Otherwise you just clicked on this link for no reason and y’all don’t have the time to waste on such frivolous actions now do ya?).
Galvatron – Robot Mode
Who says I’m compensating for the lack of a penis?!?!
We really have needed a Voyager-class CHUG Galvatron for some time, as with the current line up of Generations figures the Generations version just doesn’t cut it. The closest we have had is the Energon version (which I really wish I had bought back in the day). The huge orange cannon on him really works well, it looks like it could blast through the side of a space station! It is very well proportioned and very indicative of the Galvatron cannon. Only thing is the mask that comes up to cover Nucelon – it doesn’t sit quite flush at the front so it looks like it is a mask covering something else.
Sentinel Prime – Robot Mode
His robot mode is fairly customizable in regards there are plenty of different places to place his gunds/cannons as well as how much you can angle the wings at the back. Personally I chose to have the cannons sticking up over his shoulders and the wings as back as I could with them placed there in order to emulate how the character looked in the Origins: Megatron comics on which this character model seems to be based. He is fairly big and bulky and the Infinitus face looks kinda like Optimus but not quite which is how it should be.
Galvatron – Cybertronian Cannon Mode
Like we have needed a big CHUG Galvatron figure, we’ve also needed one that turned into a cannon emplacement. This figure does this quite well, though I can’t say it is brilliant looking. It does however do the job. No real spot that makes sense for the Titan Master partner though.
Sentinel Prime – Cybertronian Shuttle Mode
No cockpit visible which makes sense for a character not intending to carry humans. Like the robot mode there are multiple places to place the guns/cannons which is cool. The dimensions of the shuttle work well and Infinitus can sit either in a cannon on the side or in the cockpit on top, I think he works better in the cockpit otherwise the shuttle looks too lopsided to be aerodynamic (I suppose that doesn’t matter in space though).
Galvatron – Cybertronian Jet Mode
This makes more sense as a third mode than a pistol. Very Cybertronian-esque and the cannon sticking out the front is indicative of Animated Megatron. Though this mode also doesn’t look perfect, it looks quite cool and gives the Titan Master figure an excuse to sit in the cockpit.
Sentinel Prime – Cybertronian Train Mode
It’s the great space coaster – get onboard!
Very reminiscent of Energon Omega Supereme. Lots of cannons all over and certainly wouldn’t fit through a terran train tunnel. This is the mode that Infinitus works best in the cannon emplacement on the side on. While the colour scheme is good, the orange and red and too strong and too similar to make out all the little details within the mode, and the cannons could have used their own colouring.
Overall
Both these figures work pretty well. Sentinel Prime has not had a CHUG figure to date (DOTM and Timlines yes) and Galvatron has had one that was far to small in comparison to the rest of the lineup. What I like about both these figures is that neither is trying to shoehorn in a terran mode – both are Cybertronian characters who have no interest fitting in on earth so don’t try and by not making concessions to do so make their alien alt-modes work better. As both triple changers and Headmasters they both have a lot of play value and so in my book are worth the associated price tag.
Well, the Titans Return line is finally upon us. The successor to Combiner Wars, this line – despite the Titans Return moniker – is pretty much a Headmaster line, with the smaller robots being dubbed ‘Titan Masters’ rather than ‘Heaedmasters’. So lets look at the first two Leader-class toys – both Autobots – Blasterand Powermaster Optimus Prime.
Optimus – Robot Mode
Very nicely proportioned, though has solid panels under the arms which are quite noticeable whenever positioned in a heroic pose. The way the helmet goes over Apex is very much like Energon Optimus but it works quite well. Little touches such as the silver on the chest, shoulder cannons and the red hands are very indicative of the original Powermaster Optimus Prime.
Blaster – Robot Mode
It’s nice to see a robot that actually looks like Blaster rather than a recoloured Soundwave (though the FOC version wasn’t bad). The visor/helmet that encases Twin Cast looks very much like a battle version of the original Blaster figures head. Everything from the set of the shoulders to the hand weapon is a great reimagining of the figure.
Optimus – Truck Mode
Very compact, I actually thought it would look a bit bigger. But the red cab and grey paneled trailer we have come to expect. The black guns on top at the back don’t really add much, looks like he is going to shoot himself, but the two cannons at the front are quite good. The feet stick out a little at the back but it’s not too noticeable. It’s a very nice touch you can put Apex in the cab to drive it.
Blaster – Ghetto Blaster Mode
Looks like a proper ghetto blaster, not that anyone under 20 would know what one of those are these day anyway. I didn’t think this would have much play value for kids as besides pressing the eject button it doesn’t do anything, however my son picked it up and started dancing which was so cute to see! And he was thrilled when he found out the likes of Stripes and Rewind slot into it.
Optimus – Base Mode
Probably his weakest mode, the base mode for the original PM prime was far cooler looking and even though it can hook up to Fortress Maximus it does so on a very odd angle so I just sit it on one side. The fact Apex can sit in one of the cannons like Emissary does with Fort Max is cool, but there is little else for the tiny figures to do.
Blaster – Base Mode
I’m conflicted here. On the one hand the base looks much better than PM Optimus Prime, more gun ports, better ramps and overall better proportioned. However I think they really missed out on an opportunity here to make the set up a DJ booth with dance floor – the speakers lying down could be dance floors, the cannons at the top could have been spotlights, the cassette deck the DJ booth etc – it really would have suited Blasters character for him to turn into a nightclub rather than a battle base. If ever I get a second version of the figure I might do some heavy modifications.
Optimus – Transformation
Quite straight forward for a leader-class figure.
Blaster – Transformation
Surprisingly it took quite a few moves to get him into his ghetto blaster mode, I suppose it’s the challenge of making such a proportioned robot into what is almost a 2D alt-mode. Not hard, but more challenging than you would think. His conversion to base mode is fairly straight forward.
Titan Master – Apex
The face is very ‘Orion Pax’.
Titan Master – Twin Cast
Considering that you only see the face in alt-mode it’s a shame they didn’t make his body blue instead of red, just makes him look like a tiny Blaster.
Overall – Optimus with Apex
He is a pretty cool shout out to the original Powermaster Optimus Prime. Only problem is that he is a Headmaster, not a Powermaster. This is a real shame because otherwise there is little to fault with this figure. I’ll be using this one for my ‘Optimus with trailer’ display and getting the Ginrai version as well so I have a Generations version of that character as a robot.
Overall – Blaster with Twin Cast
I really like this figure. I think it is a and the great rendition of the character and the leader scale works really well for him. All three modes are winners and the Titan Master feature adds some play value. Well worth getting.
So up to you kids if you get these figures. Both (especially Optimus) have had plenty of CHUG figures based on them before, and neither are really known as Headmaster (sorry – Titan Master) characters. But I quite like them and will be glad to pop them on my display shelves.
The actual event that taught me to feel sorry for what the entirety of the female population has to put up with took place well over a decade ago (and involves me hightailing it down the road with a fear of sodomization forefront in my mind) whilst I was living in the UK. But first I will relate what has brought this harrowing (but to you probably humorous) event back to mind.
The other day I was walking to work. A woman in her mid 20’s was walking with her young son in a stroller. She was dressed very neatly, looked like maybe she was a secretary in a law clerks office or something – business shirt, knee length skirt, jacket etc. So dressed nicely but neatly – there was no overly ample amount of leg or other body part on show.
Around the corner came a fellow on a pissy scooter, looked like something one should be riding on the way to a picnic in southern France rather than around a country town in the bush. He was dressed slovenly with a beard that would put Costa from Gardening Australia to shame.
He saw the woman, his eyes went wide and his mouth gaped a little. He then uttered the following cry in her direction:
“Arghahagrhahghagagr!”
In fact it was less of a cry, more of a guttural gargle. Apparently they phrase “Whey hey!” was too eloquent for him. He continued on his little fricken scooter around the corner and was gone.
I saw the woman mentally sigh, straighten her shoulders, and then proceed about her day with her kid in tow. I felt so sorry for this woman – all she was doing was walking with her son – she didn’t deserve to be gargled at in a lecherous fashion. And what did the gargler expect to happen? Was this woman going to throw her son – stroller and all – behind a bush, bare her breasts and run at him looking to copulate right there in the middle of the street? I mean – what was the end result he was after?
You women have to put up with that kind of stupid crap all the time, and it makes me feel for you. But what happened to me all those years ago made me feel it all the more.
Stop treating me like a sex object! I’m not just a stellar pair of legs!
I was in my mid 20’s and living in a small town called Grays in the Essex countryside in the UK. As was my usual routine, on a Friday night I would catch a train for the 40 minute ride to London, party the night away with my mutual backpacker friends, then catch the last train home. This of course left me feeling very seedy every Saturday morning.
This Saturday morning I’d pulled on some old clothes and left the house to walk the 10 minutes to the shops to grab some groceries. Not long after leaving my front gate I walked past a fellow about my age, wearing a black mesh singlet and jeans. ‘G’day’ I say in my friendly yet hungover Aussie drawl as I dragged my carcass off in search of food.
As I wandered the different stores, I must have walked past this fellow a good four or five times, always leaning against a wall. I was not firing on all thrusters so didn’t think much of it.
On my way home there he was again, leaning against a wall. He detached himself and wandered over to me with an outstretched hand. “Hi” he said politely.
“Hi” I said and shook his hand for what turned out to be the limpest handshake I have ever endured. This must have been done on purpose – no one has a handshake that limp! It was like he had dropped a raw, deboned chicken breast into my hand!
After some initial pleasantries I began to walk home again and he kept pace, peppering me with questions about did I have a girlfriend (I made the stupid mistake of saying that I did but that she was back in Australia – damn you Truthful Trev!), where I lived, did I have housemates, would they be home now etc etc. I was fending off this verbal barrage as best I could in my mentally sluggish state but this guy was getting more worked up and insistent with his questioning. Apparently I must have taken this blokes fancy and he was not letting up in pursuit of his quarry.
Now let me preface what I’m about to say with this – I have NEVER had an issue with gay guys trying to pick me up. It’s something that has happened to me quite a few times, especially since I have gay friends and we all used to hit the town together. From bars in Melbourne to nightclubs in London (and even one naked guy in a tribal dancepit at Confest at 1am) I’ve been approached but it’s never phased me and I’ve never really understood why some guys get so angry about it. Heck – someone finds you attractive and interesting – it’s a compliment! And every other time it’s happened to me I’ve politely rebuffed their advances and it’s been all good. In fact, now I’m approaching 40 it’s sadly been a few years since I got to enjoy that kind of compliment from someone of either sex.
But this guy was really starting to ring alarm bells, especially with him being insistent about coming home with me ‘to see where I lived’ and wanting to know ‘if it would be just us there’. I stopped to look at him.
I looked at him and he looked at me and I realized this guy wanted to f*ck me. He wanted to f*ck me very, very badly! His eyes were wide and intense, his hands were grasping open and shut, his whole body looked poised to spring. I realized that this guy was, with great difficulty, holding himself back from bending me over on the footpath and taking me right there and then! I did not want to look down because there was NO WAY this guy was not sporting an erection! It made me feel really uncomfortable, I would have preferred the naked guy at Confest taking another crack! A smiling hippy, even one that’s nude, was way less threatening than this guy was coming across!
I made some hasty excuses, turned down a street that was not the one I actually lived on, then sprinted away into the grey English morning mist.
And this is how I came to have empathy for all women everywhere, because almost every woman on the planet has had to deal with this more than once in their lives. It is very confronting to talk to someone and realize that they fiercely want to have sex with you right there and then – that you are basically a warm body for them to use to vent their sexual frustrations. If it has never happened to you, you might be able to abstractly conceive of what it is like, but when it actually happens it is hard to describe how unnerving it really is (You can still laugh at the idea of me running like the wind to protect my back-door cherry though).
So guys, don’t gargle at women on the street. And yes, the urge to mate can be overwhelming, I’ve felt it myself, like if you don’t shag right there and then something in you is going to shatter! But tone it down, chill the hell out, and maybe it will happen. But when you aim yourself at a stranger like you are an erection with legs, all you are going to do is ruin someone’s day.
And I suppose we must spare a thought for the now middle-aged mesh-singlet wearer, traipsing the English countryside at night, mournfully looking for his lost Aussie love… or his lost lust at any rate.
Got a story along a similar lines to share or wish to comment on the above? Would love to read it in the comments section below!
Well, here we are. The final of the ‘free’ subscription service figures’ you get for paying a small fortune to belong to the official Transformers Collectors Club. In past years nearly all the figures sent out have been based on G1 or BW figures, but the final one is based on a Universe figure which was originally based on an Armada figure – and the figure in question is Ramjet. Lets see if he was worth being a subscribing member:
RAMJET
Series – Timelines
Wave – The last!
Size/class – Deluxe
New/remould/redeco – Redeco of Timelines Aramada Skywarp
Released here – Only as part of the TFCC
Approximate Retail Price – $50
Approximate Size: 14cm
Allegiance – Decepticon
Alt-mode – ‘Cybertronian Jet Fighter’
Main Features/Gimmicks –Pushfire missiles
Main Colours – White, Blue, Red
Accessories: 2 x Swords
Robot Mode
Very nice paint apps. The face has been done well, especially the fiery mouth and eyes, to portray a servant of Unicron. Well proportioned, feels new yet an obvious homage to the Universe: Ramjet that was based on the Armada: Skywarp figure. I just had some trouble detaching his swords for the robot mode – they seemed pretty jammed.
Vehicle Mode
I don’t know why, but this looks and feels nicer than Generations Armada Starscream. Really portrays a Cybertronian Fighter Jet. There is the missile firing capability which adds more play value for the younger fans.
Transformation
Very simple transforming from robot to jet and back again. Instructions not needed.
Overall
This is a nice final figure from the TFCC and the quality feels better than a lot of their previous figures that felt like they were put together in sweat shops by some poor buggers earning 13c an hour in 3rd world countries. I didn’t think I would like this homage to Universe Ramjet as much as I do. But well done to Funpub for taking a very obscure character/toy and giving it a new lease of life. It may not be G1, it may not be BW, but it’s a good enough curtain call for Funpub to feel good about sending it out to it’s members (even if it is sans the Mini-Con figure the original toy came with) in its final year of having the TF licence.
As a rule if a dish has a manly name like ‘Tradie’, ‘Truckie’ or ‘Bomb’ then it’s going to be something yours truly is going to want to shove in his gob! Why? Well besides desperately trying to hide ones insecurities from the world by appearing macho and gruff on the outside, hiding the wobbly, gelatin-like persona within, it usually means there is going to be lots of MEAT!
On a recent state-crossing trip I had occasion to drop in to three different cafe’s which had foodstuffs like those described above on their menu. So lets examine them and see if they were worth this weary traveller’s mastication.
The TRADIE Burger
Location:Gray St Café, Swan Hill, VIC
Despite the blokey name this came across as a pretty standard, average burger. Cheese, lettuce, egg, bacon, tomato, sauce – the patty was sausage mince with carrot throughout which was kinda different. No onion which was a shame. It was nice that they will change the fillings based on your predilections (I went with two friends; one didn’t want bacon, another didn’t want egg, I didn’t want tomato) but it all came across as something that you could buy most anywhere. If these burgers were boobs they would be B-cups – certainly enough there to sate your appetite, but leaving you wishing there had been more to them. Not really recommended.
The TRUCKIE Burger
Location:Balfours Cafe, Birkenhead, SA
Now we are talking more of a burger! The usual lettuce, tomato, sauce, onion, egg etc but then double meat, double cheese and double bacon! And by Primus the amount of bacon – they easily could have referred to it as quadruple bacon! The amount of oil dripping off this burger was a bit disturbing, the wrapper felt like I could use it to grease myself up and then toboggan on my gut down the nearest freeway. But you know what, after eating what felt like half a pigs worth of crispy goodness I was feeling sexy enough to try! Happily recommended.
The MALLEE BOMB!
Location:Cobb & Co Café, Murrayville, VIC/SA border
I ordered this thinking it was a lamb burger, but when it arrived it turned out to be some sort of weird dissected souvlaki. Chips covered with Mallee Lamb, with cheese, fried onion and garlic sauce drizzled all over the thing! Chuck a few bits of pita bread on top and yeah, it looks like a souvlaki had a bomb implanted in it which subsequently burst on your plate, leaving it’s yummy innards splayed upon the ceramic battlefield. I will say that they were not mucking about when they said they were using Mallee Lamb – this was really top quality meat! Very tender and succulent indeed, you will walk away from the table feeling fit to burst – the sign of a damn fine meal! Highly recommended!
Gardens grow (well the good ones anyway), evolve and change over time. And sometimes what you’ve planted and thought would be a permanent fixture years ago no longer suits the new aesthetic of that area. Now, the easiest thing is to rip it out so you can replace it with what you want, but if it’s a plant you have nurtured for years, it seems a bit heartbreaking to throw it on the bonfire. So here is Big Farmer Trev’s tips on how to transplant a tree!
Note: This only works with smaller trees. With big ones you need an excavator and a crane!
I’m going to use the example of the Bay Leaf tree I had planted four years ago. I did not realize just how slowly they grow so it was being dwarfed by all my natives. Plus I had a new orchard area set up it would go great in so I wanted to move that sucker – here are the steps I took.
Step 1: Dig a moat at least a two feet radius from the base of the tree, half a foot or more deep and pop the hose in. Let it flood and flood and flood! The main thing that will kill a tree during transplantation is losing all the soil its roots are attached to so you want to be able to pick it up as one big sticky mudball.
Big Farm Trev’s compost – aged 1 year for flavour!
Step 2: Prepare your hole where the tree will be going. Unlike a normal tree planting where you want a small radius and really deep, this hole you want only a bit deep but very wide. Remember, the root system of your tree will have spread out and you will be taking all that soil with you. Fill the hole half way with compost and then fill that with water so that you will be setting your tree down in a big hole of nutrient rich slush!
Step 3: Dig out your tree. Keep working in a circular motion around the tree with your shovel, each incision getting deeper and closer to the middle, you are making a cone shape with the point at the bottom. This will ensure you keep as many roots as possible. Once you have gotten your cone, lever it out and straight into a wheelbarrow, ready for transport.
Happy tree!
Step 4: Put your tree in its new home, making sure to fill in all gaps with dirt, you don’t want any roots exposed. Pop some mulch over the top and give the whole thing a great big dose of seaweed juice to feed the tree and lessen the stress it has undergone. Ta da – your tree is ready to start life in it’s new home!
Extra tip: If you can, wait until winter to transplant any tree’s you need to. Even evergreen’s will be far less active during this time and the more of a dormant state you tree is in, the more likely it is to survive the procedure.
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