Tag Archives: Cheeseworld Cheeseburger

Tourist Spot Review – Cheeseworld

Multiverse theory states that if it is possible for a world to exist then somewhere it must exist. That there are many parallel universes to our own, consisting of worlds different than that on which we live.

Consider Cheeseworld – a world comprised entirely of cheese.  What would we find there?  Would the moon indeed be made of cheese?  Would the Earth be made out of a Hard Dry Jack for the various cheese creatures to walk and graze upon.  Imagine if you will herds of majestic Goat and Yak cheeses grazing under the Peppercon cheddar trees by a flowing river of Runny Blue.

Would the people there have the different nationalities that we have?  Would there be the Swiss Cheese people?  Would the American Cheese people be policing the rest of Cheeseworld?  Would the Regal Blend which is headed by the Red Windsor stand proud in the nation of Aged English Cheddar?

Would people worship the great Gouda in the sky?

 

I set out in search of the mythical Cheeseworld, the entrance to which was rumored to be found at the end of the Great Ocean Road in Victoria, Australia.  My thoughts chased themselves in circles and my hands visibly shook at the idea of finding an inter-dimensional portal through which I may enter this world of cheese and explore a strange and alien new land.

Instead I found a tourist stop in Allansford consisting of a café, cheese shop and little museum.

Worst. Interdimensional Portal. Ever.

No cheese people.  Not even people dressed up as cheese characters!  No Tommy Nooka from the Mighty Boosh with his cheese head or Montgomery Jack from Rescue Rangers.  The walls are made of brick instead of brie.  I come to the sad conclusion that this will not be a grand adventure into the unknown but decide to make the best of it.

 

Cheeseworld consists of a café, which has distinctly average food (though the Cheeseworld Cheeseburger is excellent – read the review HERE).  Next to this is a little shop area which has one isle of cheese related products such as cheese boards and cheese slicers but the rest is made up of the usual touristy crap they sell people from overseas on coach tours.  Behind this is the proper cheese area.  There is a tasting bar with 5 types of cheese on offer and a fridge along the back row with quite a decent selection of cheeses to choose from.  My wife stopped my purchasing of the Buffalo’s Milk Cheese but I did get away with purchasing some Wild Wasabi Cheese which has a real bite and goes well with beer.  We also picked up some of the Warrnambool Heritage Creamy Colby that had been damn nice from the tasting area as well as Lochard Camembert.  They also sold a lot of foods that go well with cheese such as kabana, various German sausages and of course wine.

 

Behind Cheeseworld is the Cheese Museum.  Some of the equipment showed how they made cheese in the days of yesteryear while a lot of the other stuff was just the same as I have out behind my shed – old farming tools they had salvaged and put up on the wall.

How the cavemen used to make cheese

 

So is Cheeseworld worth visiting?

Look, it aint great.  The café is pretty crap and for a place called Cheeseworld you would expect something… well… more cheesy (but in a good way).  Most vineyards put on a better show and I don’t know of any that call themselves Wineworld.  But if you are driving along the Great Ocean Road or, like us, having a little holiday in close-by Warrnambool then it’s a distraction for half an hour.

Burger Review #3: The Cheeseworld Cheeseburger

One could reasonably expect that a place that names themselves ‘Cheeseworld’ would be capable of a decent Cheeseburger.  Otherwise they have no business naming themselves as such – rather they should name themselves ‘Mediocreworld’ or ‘Processeddairyworld’ or something.

Luckily for them, Cheeseworld won’t have to rename itself any time soon.

 

This was a pretty damn tasty cheeseburger!  In fact perhaps the best cheeseburger I have ever eaten!  It was quite simplistic but then I believe part of its flavor came from its simplicity, much the way a pizza you  eat in actual Italy with only a few toppings tastes so much better than one you have in Aus.  You know, with 50 different toppings with their competing flavors overwhelming the taste-buds.  The Cheeseworld Cheeseburger consisted of a juicy, thick brown beef patty complimented with a combination of thick, creamy mayonnaise, lettuce, tomato relish (though I opted out of that – good on them for actually letting customers modify their burger) and some soft fresh buns.  But what made this a brilliant cheeseburger was indeed the cheese.

Oh the cheesy-beefy goodness!

Above the patty was a slice of cheese whilst just below it was grated cheese.  Both different varieties of Coon (for our overseas readers that is the name of a cheese brand here in Australia – yes I know they should change it but overseas comedians have a great time with the concept every time they visit here.  Just watch the last half dozen appearances of Stephen K Amos on Spicks’n’Specks [another name that could use a more politically correct moniker]).  And it was these two cheeses, both very slightly melted from the beef patty, that made this burger great.   The whole thing was tasty, flavorful, had excellent texture and with a side of chips was reasonably priced.  Not the fanciest cheeseburger on the planet but certainly the tastiest I have sampled – well done!

 

Whilst on the subject of the Cheeseworld café menu, let’s look at the opposite end. They had home-made large pies on the menu but dissapointingly were sold out so I tried their ‘Home-made Beef & Pork steamed Dim Sims’.  These looked great; huge and plump and a bargain at $1.80 each.  I ordered 3 thinking the family could share them – my wife and son like beef well enough but my daughter, who is not yet two, has developed a taste for pork that rivals my own!

Smelled like encased animal droppings – tasted about the same.

How can I sum up these Dim Sims?  Worst.  Dimmies.  Ever!  Absolutely disgusting!  It was like they had accidentally knocked half a jar of raw cumin into the mix and hadn’t noticed.  My wife tried a bite and gave me almost the exact same response my brother-in-law did when I was trying the 1.5kg pork challenge at Hofbrauhaus a few months ago: ‘No, that’s disgusting!  Don’t eat that – you’ll be sick!’  A buck eighty a piece and I still felt ripped off, so awful that even when I subsequently covered them with soy sauce I couldn’t even finish one.

 

So, when travelling along the Great Ocean Road, if you happen to stop at Cheeseworld I heartily recommend the Cheeseworld Cheeseburger.  I don’t recommend the Dimmies unless you enjoy something that tastes like buckshot mixed with entrails.