Snake, Earthworm or Lizard? The debate heats up!

Ah the internet, where everyone can agree on the big things like peace and love, but will get into blindingly hateful arguments over something like are Tiny Teddies considered a biscuit or a cookie.

Since the picture I took of a Redback Spider feeding on a ‘Blind Snake’ went viral, there have been dozens of people arguing about species.  Whilst everyone agrees it is a Redback spider and most people seem to agree with my assessment that it is a Blind Snake, lots of people have their own theories about what the Redback is actually feeding on, some arguing for different species of snake and some arguing that it is a completely different creature all together!

Now whilst I initially thought it was a Brown Snake, which some people have messaged me to say they think it actually is, I concluded it was a Blind Snake as it strongly resembled those I have accidentally dug up from time to time around my property.

Ramphotyphlops australis – the Blind Snake. Source: Museum Victoria
But could I be wrong?  Nay, stay your disbelief!  I actually can be wrong you know – it happens about once a decade (anyone who saw my cowlick hairdo in the 90’s or met my first wife in the 00’s knows I can make HUGE errors in judgment).  I was taking photos with one hand and keeping my kids back with the other before I disposed of the whole grizzly scene so I didn’t exactly manage to get my Junior Scientist kit out for a proper examination.  I went via the evidence of my eyes and previous experience, both of which have stood me well in the past.

 

So what are the other theories out there?   I’ve already mentioned some believe it is a Brown Snake but completely different animals seems to be the order of the day:

 

EARTHWORM THEORY

Michael Piggott of Epsom in Victoria believes it may be a giant Earthworm.

Well I can’t see a head in the picture. It looks pointy at both ends. Snakes normally have a pointy end and a bitey end. I was in the pet store looking at baby snakes on Friday and they look very different to yours. They actually look quite beautiful.”

Victorian Giant Earthworm. Source: Museum Victoria
Despite Michael not living locally, it seems according to Social Media there quite a few Swanhillians who agree with Michael’s assessment and it is usually the people who live in an area that are in the know.

 

LEGLESS LIZARD THEORY

The most prevalent theory I have been presented with is that it is a Legless Lizard.  This has been touted by everyone from day workers to former school Principals.

Legless Lizard – photo provided by Tabatha Tihomimov
Tabatha Tihomimov, an avid snake enthusiast who boasts 80 live snakes in her personal collection is one of the people getting behind the Legless Lizard theory:

“I think it’s a Legless Lizard because of the scale pattern (smooth scales) and the tiny little leg, shape of the head etc”

It seems most of the people who don’t think it is a Blind Snake believe Tabatha to be correct on this score.

 

SLIDER SKINK THEORY

After the photo had been circulating for a few days, we had interest come from the scientific community itself!

Heath Butler, who  has an Honours degree in Zoology and has studied the movement patterns of Tiger Snakes had a new theory:

“It’s a Slider Skink (Lerista punctatovittata).  They are practically legless.  No Australian blind snake has a pointed snout like that, or a tapered tail”

This was soon supported by Heath’s former professor, Mr Nick Clemann.  Nick is a Senior Scientist at the Arthur Rylah Institute, where he leads the Threatened Fauna Program. Nick specializes in reptiles and amphibians and has spent years studying the Mallee and Riverina herpetofauna

“The pointed snout clearly shows that this is a Lerista skink – and most certainly not a Ramphotyphlops. I have worked with both for many years, and I can assure you that Heath is correct. Furthermore, you will notice that the lizard changes colour from where the body ends and the tail begins (tellingly, right about where the rear legs are!). At the very bottom of the photograph you can see the alternating black and white colour pattern that is typical of the dorsal surface of Lerista punctatovittata, and does not occur on Blind Snakes. Lastly, you can even see the tiny, vestigial forelimb.”

Image provided by Nick Clemann
This was also supported by Geoff Heard, a Post Doctoral Researcher at the University of Melbourne. Geoff studies frog movement and disease, and works with Mr Clemann on reptiles around Victoria, including in the Mallee, where he has an ongoing trapping program to examine the effects of fire on reptiles.

“Heath is spot on”.

Someone else who asserts it is a Slider Skink is Mr Michael Swan who has been a Senior Reptile Keeper with Zoos Victoria for 17 years.

“It’s definitely not a snake…….and it does appear to be Lerista punctatovittata”

I asked Mr Clemann about Legless Lizards and how that seemed to be the popular choice for what this creature is and asked was there really much of a difference between a Legless Lizard and a Slider Skink. He answered thusly:

“There is much confusion around common names, which is why scientists like to use scientific names. There are 5 families of lizards in Australia: skinks, dragons, goannas/monitors, geckos and legless lizards. Legless lizards are technically very closely related to geckos. So a skink is no more a legless lizard than a goanna is a gecko. And skinks vary enormously in size. Australia’s smallest lizard (called Grey’s Skink) is about 3 to 4 cm in total length when fully grown, but things like Stumpy-tailed Lizards and Blue-tongued Lizards are also skinks.
Like legless lizards, some skinks have greatly reduced limbs, usually because they have evolved to live underground, or to ‘snake’ their way through thick vegetation. Leristas are an example of this. But they are NOT legless lizards, they are skinks.”

 

So what IS it?

So what this creature be?  Brown Snake?  Giant Earthworm? Do we believe the large group who think it is a Legless Lizard?  Do we believe the scientists and experts with their years of training and their consensus that it is a Slider Skink?  Or do we believe Big Angry Trev who stared at it for 2 minutes before crushing it with a watering can that it was a Blind Snake.  Yes yes, I know your first instinct is to simply agree with me and believe whatever I say – it’s usually where the smart money is.  But I must admit, I tend to defer to scientists and Heath and his crew make very persuasive arguments but then the likes of Tabatha certainly knows more about reptiles than I.

The photo that sparked a national debate!

Write in the comments below what you believe the creature is, I would love to read your opinion!

Related Blog Posts:

Redback Spider killing Blind Snake – my morning surprise!

Spider kills Snake – the media storm hits!

Redback Spider kills Blind Snake – television news report

Redback Spider kills Blind Snake – television news report

My story of how I came across a Redback Spider killing a Blind Snake was briefly featured on a news report on Prime 7 tonight!  It can be viewed below:

 

Care to comment on the video?  Would love to read it in the comments section below! 

Related Blog Posts:

Redback Spider killing Blind Snake – my morning surprise!

Spider kills Snake – the media storm hits!

Snake, Earthworm or Lizard? The debate heats up!

Spider kills Snake – the media storm hits!

Wow – I really can’t believe this myself.  All those years I wasted in my 20’s trying to get famous with acting and doing stand-up comedy.  What I should have been doing is taking photo’s of dead animals – that’s where the acclaim is!

Since my first blog post with the infamous picture of a Redback Spider killing a Blind Snake went viral on Facebook and Twitter, I’ve been contacted by internet, newspaper and television sources for the story!  Apparently deadly Aussie creatures killing each other is a newsworthy story all are eager to get their media mitts on.  I’ve done 3 phone interviews in the last 2 days – it’s wiggy but kinda cool!

 

First off I talked to Andrew Kacimaiwai, the editor of Swan Hill’s The Guardian who ran the story on page 2 of their newspaper today (09/01/17), written up by Joshua Wells:

And have also put the story up on their website which you can read here:

 

I was also contacted by Elliana Saltalamacchia of The Herald Sun.  As far as I know they didn’t run it in their physical newspaper (unless they did on Sunday and I missed it) but it went up on their website Saturday night which you can read here: 

 

Today I was contacted by Ben Kimber of Prime 7  asking if they could cover the story.  It appeared on television on their local news updates for those in regional Victoria tonight at 9pm.    You can watch it on my Youtube Channel and  as well as in the video section of my website HERE.  

I was also contacted by Niki Burnside of Storyful News who wanted to run the story if I had video.  Sadly I had to inform her that I had pictures only.  Oh well, I know for next time I see something killing something else eh.

 

Once again kids, if you want fame don’t bother curing a disease, winning a medal or honing your acting skills.  Just photograph creatures killing other creatures – works a treat!

 

Care to comment?  Would love to read it below!

 

Related Blog Posts:

Redback Spider killing Blind Snake – my morning surprise!

Redback Spider kills Blind Snake – television news report

Snake, Earthworm or Lizard? The debate heats up!

Redback Spider killing Blind Snake – my morning surprise!

This is the tale of an amazing natural sight I saw yesterday.

 

It’s 9am on a Friday morning.  The missus has left for work, I’ve gotten the kids up, fed and dressed and it’s time for me to start the farm chores of the day.

I grab my keys and go open the shed door, anxious to get the more onerous of the jobs over with before the temperature reaches the forecast 37 degree’s – typical for the Mallee in January. Just inside the door is my big beer fridge and close to that is a black crate I’ve been using to sort my Transformer books and DVD’s (yes, as well as being a hobby farmer I’m also a big TF nerd).  I notice immediately that there has been a big web spun between the crate and the fridge that wasn’t there the night before.  There are a few bits of twig and dry grass in it.  Also a great big Redback Spider is busy in the web, hungrily sucking on the tail of… a snake.

A snake.

A bloody snake!

I’ve got a real thing about snakes.  I didn’t used to, affording them due respect so they wouldn’t bite me but otherwise not worrying about them.  However several years ago I lost an immediate family member to a bite by a juvenile brown snake.  Combine that with the fact that I live on a farm and have two small children, I’m pretty damn paranoid about them now.  Don’t want to lose my kids or for them to lose their dad the way I lost an older sibling.

I recoil immediately but morbid curiosity quickly brings me back (that and I’ll want to be able to grab a beer that evening).  It is indeed a young snake and quite dead.  We only get three types of snake on our farm that I’ve seen; brown snakes, red-bellied black snakes and blind snakes.  While I initially think it is a brown snake, as they are the ones we seem to get most commonly, I realize upon closer inspection this is a Blind Snake, in particular a Ramphotyphlops australis.  I’ve usually encountered them when I’ve been digging up various big bull ant nests around the farm but they are known to come to the surface on warm humid nights, which is what we had experienced the night before.  It’s grey, about 20 centimeters long and as stated, very dead.

Holy Hell!

The Redback Spider, which judging from it’s size and the nearby egg sacs is a female, has cocooned the Blind Snake’s head thickly in webbing and the rest of the body to a lesser extent.  The snake at its lowest point is hanging about an inch above the floor and the spider is chowing down on the tip of its tail – maybe where the skin is thinnest and easiest to suck the undoubtedly now pureed innards out of.  It’s a pretty disturbing sight but fascinating none-the-less.

I dash back to the house to grab my phone to take a picture.  Of course with a child’s instinct to run towards danger both my kids follow me back out.  I manage to take a few photos whilst blocking my daughter (my son is old enough to know if Dad says ‘Stay back – it’s dangerous!’ to do so but my daughter just gives a frustrated yell and tries to push past to see what all the fuss is about).  I then reach for my watering can.  Whilst having a spider that can take down snakes seems to be very desirable, having one right in the doorway to the shed all the family goes in and out of 50 times a day is most certainly not.  I instruct the little ones to look away and then Daddy turns spider, snake and web all into a memory with a couple of decisive bangs.

 

And that’s the story, one of the most amazing predator-prey events I’ve seen up close!  It even led me to make this meme:

After all this I wondered how the spider managed to get the snake off the floor and into its web.  Subsequent research I’ve done says that Latrodectus hasseltii (Redbacks) attacking and killing snakes is a very rare occurrence but it does happen. I believe the incident I witnessed however may actually be the only recorded case of a Redback taking down this particular species of snake.  Apparently the process with other species usually involves the Redback turning it’s abdomen towards a snake slithering on the ground after it gets caught in a trap line and shoots web all over it.  As the snake thrashes and becomes more entangled the Redback slowly hoists it up into the main web where it can then bite, kill and feed at its leisure.  Despite the fact that Blind Snakes are not venomous I assume this happened in the same manner and it makes the above meme all the more appropriate, don’t you think?

 

Care to comment on the story you just read or have a similar story of your own?  Would love to read it in the comments section below!

Related Blog Posts:

Spider kills Snake – the media storm hits!

Redback Spider kills Blind Snake – television news report

Snake, Earthworm or Lizard? The debate heats up!

Ask Trev: Can you get rid of flatulence odour with a vacuum?  

This question comes from Scott in Yarraville, Victoria: 

Hey Trev. First up Happy New Year to you & your family.
Got a question. Does farting into a vacuum cleaner (while it’s on) remove the smell or is that just ‘hot air’?

Well, this is one of the more unusual but interesting questions I’ve received but I’ll do my best.

I’m supposed to stick what into this?!?

First off, the composition of flatulence is not actually hot air as such but methane gas, caused by the breaking down of food particles in the stomach which then in turn travels through the lower intestine and is released by the anus when either appropriate or comically pleasing.

Now, as to whether having a vacuum cleaner in place will remove the smell.  You say farting into a vacuum cleaner; I’m assuming by this you mean having the nozzle placed outside the sphincter ready to go upon flatulence excretion, rather than just sucking the smell out of the air post eruption.  This shows that you are a still a young man, nearing 40 I don’t always have control of when I let one go, though I’ve found a beef vindaloo the night before will guarantee a plethora of gas as required the next morning.

 

To answer your question I tried the following experiments:

TEST 1: The Dog

Hypothesis: Dogs pass gas all the time, making them excellent to blame your own indiscretions on.

Experiment: Chasing the dog around with a vacuum cleaner switched on induces a great deal of fear from the dog, but little gas to suck up.  Also required a long extension cord and avoiding eye contact with the neighbors.

Result: Inconclusive.

 

TEST 2: My Children

Hypothesis: My kids poop – a lot!  Should be a simple matter of catching them mid-fart before the main show arrives.

Experiment: Following my children around with a vacuum cleaner switched on and pointed at their nappy-wearing bums resulted in a very irate babysitter threatening phone calls to child protective services.

Result:  Again, inconclusive.

 

TEST 3: Myself

Hypothesis: Following small creatures around waiting for them to pass gas was time consuming and seemed to irritate all concerned. Since a good 65% of the time I realize I’m about to pass gas before I actually do, catching myself in the act should be an easy matter.

Experiment: I loaded up on beer and curry, topping if off with a couple of hard-boiled eggs, then let my gut percolate.  After a few hours I could feel that the chamber was full and ready to vent.  So I excused myself to the bedroom, removed my trousers and underwear and got the nozzle ready.  However just as I was about to reap the gaseous gold of my lower intestine my wife walked in…

Result: …finding me standing there half naked, with a switched on vacuum cleaner nozzle near my nether’s and a surprised look on my face.  This seemed to disturb her.  When I informed her that I was ‘simply trying a scientific experiment in vapor removal so as to answer a blog question’, I was called a ‘filthy, lying, perverted f*ck!’ before she burst into tears, got the kids and her suitcases and went to a hotel.

 

So to answer your question – does farting into a vacuum cleaner remove the smell? – all I can say is that it probably does but remains unproven. However I did manage to prove it definitely removes all chance of you being intimate with your spouse for the next 6 months.

 

Thanks for your question.

 

Got a better answer?  Write it in the comments below!  

Movie Review – Trolls

A bunch of tiny multi-coloured misfits living and singing in the forest, happy as Larry with only the worry that some big baddy will come along and snatch them to eat.  No I’m not talking about the gay version of the Smurfs (or am I?), I’m talking about the latest kids movie to hit the cinema – TROLLS.

 

First off, let me clarify that I did not see this movie by choice.  Rather I got roped into it via work.  While I usually enjoy animated movies just as much (and usually more if I’m honest) as the next adult I had a feeling I wasn’t going to like this movie.  And lo I was right!

If you have a daughter aged between 5 and 13 then this is probably a brilliant movie for them.  If not in that gender or age group than this movie is a definite miss.  There is very little to recommend it to male proclivities and there are none of the subtle adult-aimed jokes that usually permeate animated movies in order to give the grown-ups a chuckle on the sly. This is very much a movie for little girls, with scrapbooking, hugs and glitter abounding.

 

PLOT

The movie follows a very Smurf’esque plot.  Happy little fraggers living in the forest singing away until a big bugger comes along and grabs a bunch for dinner (yes Gargamel in the movies was after their essence but I think in the cartoon he was gonna eat them or something.  I don’t know if Gargamel himself knew, senile old coot living alone with his cat that he was).  So Princess Poppy, who caused the mess by throwing a huge party teams up with the one grumpy misfit didn’t attend (Branch) to go rescue their friends before they become snacks.  That’s it for plot.  I wont bother going into it further as there is bugger all to say, there really isn’t.  It is so formulaic – Branch learns to be happy, the Trolls get away and the bad guys learn to be good.  Yawn.

VISUALS

The graphics of the movie are quite good.  The trolls are all ultra-colourful, can change shade seemingly at will and there are even a few glitter-based ones that seem to fart sparkles (the one crude joke in the movie, used too early and too many times to be funny).  The bad guys – the Bergens, are all green with crooked teeth and look like the atypical ogres out of a fairy tale.  Personally my favourite of the visual effects were when Princess Poppy first takes off to rescue her friends and various parts of the landscape come alive to try and eat her.  This was done in a clever fashion and was subtly reminiscent in some ways of the old Yoshi’s Island game on the SNES.

Also something I found clever visually was the way the Troll characters used their hair, which of course is what the toys have been known for for decades.  They use their hair to grapple, change its colour for camouflage and even turn it into stairs.  It was used in quite a different number of ways and full credit to the writers for how they did so.

MUSIC

The music is, like the whole movie, aimed at young girls with it being a relentless teeny-bopper fest.  I did like them using a Gorillaz track when we first encounter Bergen city.  For young girls the music is great – for the rest of us not so much.  But then this movie starts Justin Timberlake so what do you expect – it’s his target demographic.

VOICE ACTING

The voice acting is fairly standard and uninspired.  I was shocked to see John Cleese come up in the credits, I’m guessing he must have been the old King or something.  Gwen Stefani, Russel Brand – none of them really do a stellar job with what is a very simple script.  The only decent voice actor in the whole thing is Christine Baranski, immediately recognisable to anyone who watches The Big Bang Theory or was a fan of Cybil many, many years ago.  She does a great job as the main antagonist and her expressiveness leaves the rest of the cast in the dust.

 

WORTH WATCHING?

So is this movie worth your hard earned bucks?  If you are the type of grown up that still has a pink, fluffy diary that you write all your secret hopes and wishes in and dreams of one day meeting a nice boy who would rather hold your hand then get your knickers off then I guess maybe.  But otherwise, unless you have a daughter who really wants to see it, stay well clear.

 

So have you seen Trolls yet?  Will you see it after reading this review?  Would love to hear your thoughts below!

 

 

Movie Review – Bad Santa 2

A foul mouthed, alcoholic, sex-obsessed criminal in a Santa suit freaking out kids and shagging everything in sight.  13 years ago we got introduced to Willy – better known to the world as Bad Santa.  A movie that to this day remains my favorite ever Xmas movie and in my top 10 movies of all time (along with Sling Blade – Billy Bob Thornton rocks my world!).  And now in 2016 Willy and his crew are back for the long awaited sequel – Bad Santa 2.

First off, let me say that deep down I always knew this movie would not be as good as the original.  There was almost no way it could be.  Even Billy Bob was quoted in an interview during production that he thought the movie would be good but not as good as the first.  But the trailers had me hooked from the get-go, to the point that when I found out my local cinema would not be playing the flick I drove 180km to Echuca just so I could see Willy on the big screen.  That’s the kinda obsessed fan I can be.

This movie picks up 13 years after the original and that is fully demonstrated by the reappearance of Thurman Murman, the fat, curly-headed, slow witted kid from the first flick.  Thurman is all grown up now and turning 21, Willy’s birthday present for him being a session with Opal the prostitute (who was also in the first movie) which he makes Thurman pay for himself, though he runs off rather than going through with the act.  Listening to Willy instruct Thurman on how to have sex is one of the filthier and funnier moments between the two in the movie and quite the laugh.

Willy and Thurman’s relationship was the main focus of the first movie, showing how Thurman’s naïve trust and affection for Willy as Santa slowly teased out a glimmer of humanity from the drunken crook.  In this movie their relationship hasn’t changed.  Willy still talks to Thurman like he is an irritant, but feels some need to keep the grown up Thurman under his crooked wing.  While Willy never puts Thurman ahead of himself, he finds himself never able to completely abandon him when he is in need either.  While there are some short funny scenes between the two, their relationship never really grows in this film like it did the first, and Thurman is very much a secondary character, more of a hassle for Willy to take care of, even if that means dumping him in a hobo hostel where men are actively either vomiting or masturbating.   A very touching scene near the end of the movie shows Thurman singing in a choir and Willy, despite running late to rob a safe, can’t pull himself away.  Willy stands there almost in tears watching him sing, while Thurman’s face lights up with pure joy when he see’s Willy in the audience.

We also see the return of Marcus, the angry dwarf from the first movie.  Marcus, having been arrested after events of the first movie (which included trying to kill Willy at the end) has gotten out of prison after ten years and is going straight back to his old tricks.  He recruits Willy for a job where a safe-cracker is needed and takes him to Boston.  Once again, there is no real development of the relationship between the two from the first movie, their tit-for-tat mean-spirited bickering being a highlight of the original flick.  While we get some similar scenes here, every time they seem to be able to kick off properly they are interrupted by Willy’s Mother (whom we shall come to) laughing at or repeating one of their insults.  I found this to be a bit irritating, interrupting the flow of a dialogue which proved such a highlight in the first movie.  But like Thurman Marcus has been relegated to a secondary character.

The new character we are introduced to is Willy’s mother (played by Kathy Bates) who  has been in contact with Marcus since he got out of jail and arranged for him to bring Willy in on the job, knowing full well that Willy would say no immediately if she approached him directly.  This is the new focus of this movie, watching the relationship between Willy and his mother rekindle.  Willy’s mother proves every bit as foul as Willy, having fallen pregnant with Willy when she was 13 (according to her the only time Willy’s father didn’t give it to her in the ass) and giving birth to him in a state correctional facility, not realizing she had actually given birth until she tripped over him lying on the floor.  Throughout the movie it is portrayed that while she is an immoral, foul-spoken, dirty-minded, career criminal (explaining a lot about why Willy is the way he is in the process, she even framed him when he was 11 for a crime that she committed) she is also is trying to reconnect with Willy, due to her age and failing health, stating the reason she brought him in on the job because she thought it would be fun for them to work together.  Willy hates her with a vengeance, and quite rightly so, but over the movie softens that tiny bit, stealing a bottle of cough medicine for her and even smiling (albeit once) at one of her jokes.  She also presents him with the first gift she has ever given him in his life, a gun in case Marcus tries to kill him again.

Willy in the movie is, well, Willy.  The character has not changed since the first movie in any significant way except for at the start being so depressed he tries to commit suicide twice.  You still see that glimpse of softness you saw in the first movie when dealing with Thurman, though in usual Willy style this softness is portrayed as trying to abandon Thurman at a Laundromat and stealing his money, only to come back a minute later swearing at himself for being so weak to do so.  Willy’s sex-obsession is well in play, be it getting a handjob from a former shotput champion, having sex with the lady who runs the charity (played by Christina Hendricks who Willy quite accurately describes when trying to sweet talk her as having ‘humongous f*cken titties’) behind her husbands back and revisiting his predilection of having anal-sex with overweight women.  It’s shown that Willy has never truly gotten over his love affair from the first movie (stating at the start of the movie that there is only so many times you can throw up in someones lap before it kills the romance) when he keeps asking Hendricks character to wail ‘F*ck me Santa!‘ like his old girlfriend used to during sex.  Willy doesn’t have as many great lines in this movie as the last, a lot of which spouted from his drunken rages at having to be Santa again.  In the first movie he was bitter and very angry, whereas in this one he is bitter and comes across as just tired of it all.  He even see’s having to seduce and sodomize the hefty, slutty security guard as a chore.

And overall maybe that is the problem with this movie.  Willy comes across as tired because he’s done it all before and this movie as a whole suffers from that same issue.  While they have tried to introduce a new element with Willy’s mother, it just isn’t enough.  It’s the same jokes, the same antics, the same everything.  13 years ago a lot of these jokes packed a punch, these days folk are more desensitized.  The crux of the first movie was Willy’s degenerate behaviour and how others reacted to it.  In this movie Willy is actually that bit more moral than both Marcus and his mother which removes a lot of the humor.  There is no real character development or growth for Willy, except for the aforementioned very slight softening towards his mother.  Marcus is the same backstabber, Thurman comes across as a slightly more confident grown up version of himself but essentially the same, and Willy’s mother, who is now the new most detestable character, just isn’t as funny in this position due to the other characters and the public not really reacting to her wicked ways.

That isn’t to say this is an awful movie.  There were a few times I laughed damn hard, but it could be that my affection for the first movie made me more amenable to those gags than most.  But Bad Santa 2 movie is definitely a ‘Ghostbusters 2’ of a movie.  By this I mean it’s great to see the characters you love back on the big screen, but the magic and fun of the first movie just isn’t there.  I’m glad I saw this movie, but I wont be rewatching it 13 years later like I still do the first.

So have you seen Bad Santa 2?  Will you see it after reading this review?  Would love to read your thoughts in the comments section below.

Meat Recipe #3 – the perfect Pork Crackling!

Pork Crackling.  I’m an atheist by trade but dear Primus if there is a foodstuff that indicates that there may be a higher power at work then it is that!  Bacon, Ham, Pork – bless the humble pig for growing such tasty flesh upon its bones!  Of course it’s not the pigs flesh we are talking about here but the fat.

I’m not a big fat fan as a rule.  I always leave it on when cooking so it helps hold in all those lovely meat juices, but I tend to cut it off more often than not when it comes to eating the meat in question.  But pork crackling is different – it should be its own food group!  Was it not the great Winston Churchil that said  All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope, crackling’ (Historians tend to leave that last word out but many of them are vegetarians – too much time in damp book depositories and not enough exercise so I wouldn’t put it past’em to have cut it on purpose).  And today I am going to share with you the simple yet effective way of getting yourself a good a tasty hunk of this salty pig elixir!

Oh the sordid beauty of it!
Oh the sordid beauty of it!

Step 1: Select a nice piece of pork for roasting, one with a decent carapace of fat on the top.  I usually go for lion roast myself – great for crackling!

Step 2: Score the fat.  Using a serrated knife cut thin gashes through the fat to just the edge of the meat beneath.  How many gashes you cut is up to you.

Step 3: Rub a mixture of sea salt and oil into the fat, making sure you get plenty in the cuts you have scored.

Step 4: Roast the pork for the appropriate time, depending on the cut of meat and size.  Half an hour before the pork is due to be fully cooked remove it from the oven.

Step 5: Use a knife to cut between the pork and the meat and remove the fat in one big piece.   Flip the fat over and on the underside sprinkle some table salt and throw on a small dash of lemon juice.  Return both the roast and the fat to the oven, making sure the fat is underside up.

Step 6: Remove the pork from oven at the appropriate time and check the fat.  It should be solidifying by now and a reddy-brown colour.  You should be able to bend the piece of crackling a little bit but not too much.  Too dry and it will shatter, too moist and you will be eating a piece of salty rubber.  If the crackling appears too moist pop it back in the oven for another 20 minutes, giving it a little spray of oil.

Step 7: Give the crackling a short amount of time to cool – then eat the lot!  If someone tries to take it from you – well you are at the dinner table with all those big knives handy – defend your pork!

 

And that’s it! – oil, salt and a bit of lemon juice is all you need!  Oh there are plenty of recipes out there that call for garlic or rosemary (much better on lamb than on pork in my opinion) but for crackling where you want to still taste that delicious pork, then keep it simple and don’t overpower it with competing flavors.  Happy eating!

 

Have a different Pork Crackling recipe?  Share it below for everyone to enjoy!

Toy Review – Masterpiece Inferno

Ah Inferno.  So cool yet so overlooked.  A gung-ho character that was either fighting fires or fighting Cons or dealing with his psychotic superior.  Inferno is not considered a fan favourite by many, but I always loved the guy!  The original toy was great with lots of features and was a good size for its era and he was a fun character on screen during Season 2 of the G1 cartoon (my personal favourite TF ep’s ever!) Now to appease the likes of me, Tak/Tom have brought us Masterpiece Inferno!

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Vehicle Mode

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As mentioned, the G1 Inferno toy was one of my very favourite toys from that era.  The fact that the Fire Engine mode had a telescoping ladder with its two little nozzles on the end, along with the foam cannon at its base meant it had moving parts as well as looking like Inferno could actually shoot stuff in vehicle mode.  This vehicle mode here is very faithful to the cartoon but of course it suffers in the modern era by looking too simplistic.  The Leader-Class Sentinel Prime from DOTM was a fantastic looking Fire Engine as well as pretty damn big.  To compare the two, Inferno looks smaller (though pretty chunky for the current MP line all the same) and a lot plainer.

Money Shot!
Money Shot!

This said, he looks pretty damn good, the grill work on the front of the truck is pretty nice and the hoses on the side are present (both sides now rather than just the one – I would have preferred just the one myself) as well as other little details.  The telescoping ladder now has three sections instead of two although it looks a lot more boxy to my mind.  Being able to flip out a little hose at the end of the ladder and attach the spraying water facsimile is a great touch and makes it really look like a fire engine in action!

 

 

Robot Mode

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Everything you have come to expect from the MP line, including tilting ankles, opening hands, manoeuvrable head, knees, elbows etc.  Inferno is very poseable and his dimensions are spot on.  He is able to retract his hands to have big laser cannons come out, though no missile launcher like the G1 toy.  You can have him shoot faux water in this mode as well and he has his rifle so you can set him up to look like he is either fighting fires or Cons – whatever floats ya boat.  His head wings and foam launcher are present up top and while it is not something I bother with much myself you can change his face with the four different plates provided.  An issue I have with the MP line in general with some of these larger characters are how plain the legs look.  Inferno’s are better than MP Ratchet (see review HERE) and MP Shockwave’s (see review HERE) legs due to the hoses etc on the side but they all look a bit plain to my mind.  But that’s what fans have to remember – Tak/Tom is giving you a toy that looks like the cartoon as much as possible, which means you often lose lots of the nice details you got in the toy that they never bothered to replicate on screen.  Of course the flipside of that is you get little details such as his wrist communicator that the toy lacked.

 

Red Alert Lifter

Did you ever know that your my hero?
Did you ever know that your my hero?

When I saw all the images online of Inferno carrying MP Red Alert, replicating that classic episode where Inferno saves a crazed Red from a burning building, I just assumed it was something fans were doing for fun.  However when looking at the different chest plates for Inferno (there are 3) I realised one is specifically to set up this pose!  This shows great interactivity between the MP toys which is sometimes missing (besides putting the cars in MP Optimus’ trailer) in the line and hammers home that these toys really are made for the G1 enthusiast and that if you are shelling out this much money for the toy, then you should know the scene between Red and Inferno by heart already.

 

Transformation

The headaches that earlier MP toys provided – particularly Megatron and Rodimus Prime – are truly behind us.  Inferno will take you a few minutes the first few times and using the instructions until you get a feel for the toy is recommended.  I’m very much a fan of how they made the ladder fold up so compactly and fit into his back.  This is a definite improvement over the original toy and makes him look very much improved from the back!

 

Worth Buying?

If you are not a G1 nut, then for the exorbitant price tag (especially after currency conversion and postal fees if purchasing from overseas) I’d have to say a no.  There are cheaper and better looking Transformer Fire Trucks out there for you to buy on the secondary market like the aforementioned DOTM Sentinel Prime.  Even currently you have the Combiner Wars Hot Spot, Pyra Magna and upcoming Megaempress (think Megatron with a sex change) who aren’t the most brilliant Fire Engines but have the combining feature and their own teammates.  But if, like yours truly, you are a G1 nut and MP fan, then this Inferno is definitely a worthy addition to your collection.

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So what do you think of Masterpiece Inferno?  I’d love to hear in the comments section below!

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