A bunch of tiny multi-coloured misfits living and singing in the forest, happy as Larry with only the worry that some big baddy will come along and snatch them to eat.  No I’m not talking about the gay version of the Smurfs (or am I?), I’m talking about the latest kids movie to hit the cinema – TROLLS.

 

First off, let me clarify that I did not see this movie by choice.  Rather I got roped into it via work.  While I usually enjoy animated movies just as much (and usually more if I’m honest) as the next adult I had a feeling I wasn’t going to like this movie.  And lo I was right!

If you have a daughter aged between 5 and 13 then this is probably a brilliant movie for them.  If not in that gender or age group than this movie is a definite miss.  There is very little to recommend it to male proclivities and there are none of the subtle adult-aimed jokes that usually permeate animated movies in order to give the grown-ups a chuckle on the sly. This is very much a movie for little girls, with scrapbooking, hugs and glitter abounding.

 

PLOT

The movie follows a very Smurf’esque plot.  Happy little fraggers living in the forest singing away until a big bugger comes along and grabs a bunch for dinner (yes Gargamel in the movies was after their essence but I think in the cartoon he was gonna eat them or something.  I don’t know if Gargamel himself knew, senile old coot living alone with his cat that he was).  So Princess Poppy, who caused the mess by throwing a huge party teams up with the one grumpy misfit didn’t attend (Branch) to go rescue their friends before they become snacks.  That’s it for plot.  I wont bother going into it further as there is bugger all to say, there really isn’t.  It is so formulaic – Branch learns to be happy, the Trolls get away and the bad guys learn to be good.  Yawn.

VISUALS

The graphics of the movie are quite good.  The trolls are all ultra-colourful, can change shade seemingly at will and there are even a few glitter-based ones that seem to fart sparkles (the one crude joke in the movie, used too early and too many times to be funny).  The bad guys – the Bergens, are all green with crooked teeth and look like the atypical ogres out of a fairy tale.  Personally my favourite of the visual effects were when Princess Poppy first takes off to rescue her friends and various parts of the landscape come alive to try and eat her.  This was done in a clever fashion and was subtly reminiscent in some ways of the old Yoshi’s Island game on the SNES.

Also something I found clever visually was the way the Troll characters used their hair, which of course is what the toys have been known for for decades.  They use their hair to grapple, change its colour for camouflage and even turn it into stairs.  It was used in quite a different number of ways and full credit to the writers for how they did so.

MUSIC

The music is, like the whole movie, aimed at young girls with it being a relentless teeny-bopper fest.  I did like them using a Gorillaz track when we first encounter Bergen city.  For young girls the music is great – for the rest of us not so much.  But then this movie starts Justin Timberlake so what do you expect – it’s his target demographic.

VOICE ACTING

The voice acting is fairly standard and uninspired.  I was shocked to see John Cleese come up in the credits, I’m guessing he must have been the old King or something.  Gwen Stefani, Russel Brand – none of them really do a stellar job with what is a very simple script.  The only decent voice actor in the whole thing is Christine Baranski, immediately recognisable to anyone who watches The Big Bang Theory or was a fan of Cybil many, many years ago.  She does a great job as the main antagonist and her expressiveness leaves the rest of the cast in the dust.

 

WORTH WATCHING?

So is this movie worth your hard earned bucks?  If you are the type of grown up that still has a pink, fluffy diary that you write all your secret hopes and wishes in and dreams of one day meeting a nice boy who would rather hold your hand then get your knickers off then I guess maybe.  But otherwise, unless you have a daughter who really wants to see it, stay well clear.

 

So have you seen Trolls yet?  Will you see it after reading this review?  Would love to hear your thoughts below!