Househusband Tales #3 – The Library Playgroup

September 27, 2017 Big Angry Trev Leave a comment

Before we moved, both our children went to daycare two days a week which guaranteed chances to socialize with other kids their age. Since coming to the mountains my son has started Preschool, but with me being a househusband it makes no sense to pay to put our 2 year old daughter in daycare so she stays at home with me.

I worried that she was no longer getting to socialize with other kids in her age bracket (she is 2 ½) so was heartened to hear there was a Storytime Playgroup at the local library. I’m a big library nut and our kids love reading and being read to. In fact, we have a policy in our house – unless what we are currently doing is super important, if one of our kids brings us a book and asks to be read to, we down tools and read to them there and then. A love of literacy – every parent should encourage this in their kids.

So after dropping my son at Preschool, I took my daughter up to the Storytime Playgroup at the library which was due to start at 10am. I was initially heartened to see I was not the only male there, there was at least one other bloke there who has come along with his wife and two boys. But that was where the good impressions ended.

I thought that the sign said ‘Storytime Playgroup’, not f*cking ‘Bogan Junk Food Picnic!’

Let me give ya a rundown of the 4 other families there.

Group 1: The Chubbies

Mr & Mrs ‘Yes we will have fries with that’. Both of them looking comical sitting on little kids chairs which their massive arses spread over the edges of like spilled pancake batter. Their 2 bulbous boys were given pack after pack of Chocolate Tiny Teddies, I’m not sure their mastication ever stopped!

Group 2: The Lone Texter

Did this woman even have a kid? I don’t know, I assume one of the ones running around unfettered was hers. I never saw her take her eyes off her phone. She just sat on her prolific posterior on the floor, leaning her back against a bookshelf (I think sitting up would have been too much exercise for her) staring at her phone, alternating between texting and checking social media. I’m guessing literacy is a closed book to her.

Group 3: The Mongoloids

This woman had three kids with her, guessing their ages ranged between 30 and 48 months. However all 3 still had dummies in their mouths and I’m guessing they won’t be weaned off them any time soon. She also had them on tethers – you know those awful backpack things with a long rope attached so kids won’t run away in crowds? She had these on all her kids and whenever one got a bit far away she would angrily snap some verbal instruction and then physically snap on the cord even harder, bringing the kid backwards towards her to land on their arse and cry throughout the next story.

Group 4: The Brits

Now here was the only other parent present who was of normal human proportions. But given what she was feeding her kids frankly this was a surprise. This Pommie lady, as soon as she sat with her three kids, brought out a multipack bag of Cheetos Cheese & Bacon Balls. She then dispensed the smaller packs within to her 3 kids, the youngest of which could not have been more than 18 months old.

*Apparently a part of any toddlers nutritious breakfast*

So by the time the librarian came out and started to read, all the kids were either that busy eating absolute shit that they couldn’t hear her over their own chewing, or they were literally reaching the end of their tether and then crying their pudgy little arses off!

What the f*ck was going on!?!

Now don’t get me wrong, I give my kids treats now and then. Today for instance it’s been a hot sunny day so I took them to the park for an hour, then on the way home we all got ice creams. But that kind of sugary snack is a treat, not the norm. I’m proud to say the amount of sugary treats my kids get each week you could count on one hand. If they want a snack at home, fruit is what is always on offer, with the occasional seaweed cracker. Banana’s, strawberries, pears, apples, mandarins, oranges – this is what my kids have for a snack.

And since when did it become OK to eat in a library anyway? Last I checked when you go into a library you put your phone on silent and leave all food and drinks in your bag. You don’t treat it like you are at a AC/DC concert and chow down on crappy junk food while you watch the show!

I hadn’t brought any snacks for my daughter and she was staring at all the other kids food. The British lady with the facial piercings offered us one of her little multipacks and I politely declined. As nice a gesture as it was, I was still mentally indulging in some extreme judgment of her and it would have made me a complete hypocrite to accept, even if it would have made my daughter happy.

So yeah, stories got read but hardly anyone heard them or paid attention. A little craft exercise was done which ran more smoothly, though I noted most parents doing all the work for their kids while the children idly watched, rather than coactively helping their kids do it for themselves. Then Playgroup was finished.

I left there with a bit of a heavy heart. Given our remote location the only other playgroups for little kids are run by the local churches and my skin starts to burn and smoke whenever I step on consecrated ground. So that means I am going to have to go back as I can’t let my own judgmental attitude stop my daughter having this bi-weekly activity.

But by f*ck – if I had my way I’d be telling all these cattle to do their f*cking grazing at home!

Got something to add? Would love to read it in the comments section below!

Related Articles:

Househusband Tales #1 – Pampering Poorly Perfected

Househusband Tales #2 – Bathrooms are Bull$hIt!

Transformer Toy Reviews

Toys Review – the Combiner Force Stunticons

September 24, 2017 Big Angry Trev Leave a comment

The Combiner Wars brought back a love of gestalts to the Transformer franchise that other lines like the Power Core Combiners failed to do. Despite the main line having moved onto Titans Return, we expect to see more combiner teams as part of the 2018 Power of the Primes toyline.

The Decepticon combiners characters were – lets face it – always a lot more interesting and popular than the Autobot ones. The likes of Superion and Defensor were there so their Decepticon counterparts had someone to ultimately be beaten by. In recent years, as well as in Combiner Wars, we’ve seen a lot of those Decepticons crop up in other lines. We had Devastator in Revenge of the Fallen, Bruticus in Fall of Cybertron and even Abominus in Beast Hunters. Well now it’s Menasor’s turn with the Stunticons making their debut, both in the cartoon and toyline, as part of the Robots in Disguise Combiner Force franchise.

Now RID(15) has had some pretty damn underwhelming toys. Most figures seem to suffer from cheap construction and overly simplsitc mechanics and transformations. And sadly, the Stunticons continue this trend.

*‘We exist to make your G1 toys look good’*

Only Motormaster and Drag Strip are present from the original lineup. They are now joined by Slashmark, Heatseeker and Wildbreak. Having Wildbreak instead of Breakdown is kinda forgivable, considering this is the same universe as the Prime cartoon in which Breakdown died several years ago. However having Heatseeker and Slashmark feels lazy. Heatseeker is so close in looks to the Combiner Wars Offroad that Hasbro missed a great opportunity to cement him as a new character in the classic team. Likewise Slashmark is just Heatseeker with blue highlights instead of red. This spot could easily have been filled by Dead End, Wildrider or the other new Stunticon from CW – Blackjack.

All limb characters are sadly simplistic, requiring only 1 or 2 minor moves to go from Vehicle to Robot – both modes looking quite average. Articulation is non-existent. Motormaster however has been a bit better engineered and I quite like his alt-mode, very remincient of RID(01) Ultra Magnus.

But like his smaller partners, articulation is a quality sorely lacking in his robot mode.

And speaking of his robot mode, lets take a look at his bonce. Oh they got the square helmet just right but look at the face within…

That’s bloody Megatron! WTF?! That’s Megs from the Prime cartoon – my oath it is! Once you realize this, it makes a lot of the similarities in the head and shoulders of Menasor to Magatronus all the more apparent.

Menasor’s combined mode looks ok, though a big gangly. Here we have the only bit of articulation in any of the figures, that being that Menasor can raise his arms (which sorely lack elbows) which allows him to hold his sword up.

Now some of these characters have also been released separately to the main group. I’ve seen Heatseeker as a 1-step changer in the shops, though personally I always find them to be poor toys so I passed. But I did grab the Drag Strip/Wildbreak 2-pack.

Now these characters really are no better enginnered here than with the main pack. Also somewhere in the process they have confused the characters. Wildbreak was obviously supposed to be Drag Strip considering he has a Drag Strip’ish alt-mode. My suspicion of this was confirmed when I checked out the instructions.

This is really just an unforgivably lazy mistake by the manufacturer. But then these are lazy toys. These figures also have no articulation in robot mode and their vehicle modes, particularly Drag Strip, are very uninspired.

Whilst their combined form of DragBreak looks pretty cool, his static pose does not offer much play value.

*“**Drag** **Break** – my name sounds like what your Dad used to do at work around mid-morning. But then Wild Strip would make me sound like what your mum did to earn her way through college’*

Now I’ve been pretty hard on these toys and it’s hard not to be. However in fairness they are no worse than most of the RID line so one should know what they are getting into with their purchase. The prices are much better too if you are buying for kids – you can get a whole Menasor here for the same cost of two limb characters from CW. Their combined modes have a certain style and unlike many of the other CF figures they actually do combine. But unless like me you are a complete Stunticon nut these toys are an easy pass for your average collector.

Got something to say about these figures? Would love to read it in the comments section below!

Related Articles:

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Random Rants, Tales of the Trev

Househusband Tales #2 – Bathrooms are Bull$hIt!

September 19, 2017 Big Angry Trev Leave a comment

There are certain laws of the universe that one considers immutable – one of the main ones I have always had no reason to doubt is cause and effect. If you do A, then it will cause B to happen. If you throw a ball in the air, it will come down again. If you stick your hand in the fire, it will be burned.

So if you have a room in which you use nothing but cleaning products, then ergo that room should be nothing but clean!

Seriously, why the f*ck are bathrooms exempt from the rules of cause and effect?! I’ve tidied plenty of bathrooms plenty of times but before today, in my new role as househusband, I’d never cleaned one before. Oh sure it looks clean enough, but when you get up close the friggin things are filthy!

‘Soap *SCUM?!* Since when is soap *scummy?* It doesn’t conduct phone scams does it?’

Why are they filthy? HOW are they filthy?! I took a look at all the products we have in our bathroom:

SCENTED SOAP

FOAMING CLENSER

ANTISEPTIC LISTERINE

FACIAL SCRUB

BODY WASH

Look at all the words contained within! Those are words associated with cleaning. It should be the cleanest damn room in the house!

And the bath! How can the bath be filthy?! You fill it full of hot soapy water and then drain that straight down a damn plughole! I come out cleaner after being in the bath, the kids come out cleaner after being in the bath – why doesn’t the bath come out cleaner from being within itself?!

It’s bloody madness is what it is! I spent over an hour cleaning the bathroom today and I still have the floor to mop!

Well, enough of that – I’m not going to be suckered twice! From now on I’m hosing the kids off in the yard, the wife can shower at work and as for me, well I’ll just stand downwind of people as a courtesy. Because a world where soap makes things dirtier just doesn’t make sense to me – it seems to be a joke played by a capricious universe that just wants to f*ck with my househusband brain.

Go to hell Bathroom – you porcelain-toting bastard you!

Have you encountered this freak of household nature yourself? Tell us about it in the comments section below!

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Househusband Tales #1 – Pampering Poorly Perfected

Tales of the Trev

Househusband Tales #1 – Pampering Poorly Perfected

September 15, 2017 Big Angry Trev Leave a comment

After 16 years of being a department employee, Big Angry Trev has retired to his country estate up in the mountains to embark on a career of plant propagation. Only one problem with that…

… his wife has gone back to work full time which means he needs to care for the house as well as their two small children.

This is the first of many tales about his new career as a househusband.

Treat others the way you would like to be treated.

An axiom to live by, one I have tried to embody but by no means have ever been its poster child.

With the wife going back to work its put me in the new position as househusband, a relatively unfamiliar role. Being a bit lost at sea I thought perhaps I should go with “what I used to wish my wife would do for me when I was the breadwinner” and go from there.

I remember what I always wanted. It consisted of:

Bacon, eggs & coffee in the morning
A packed lunch
A big dinner waiting with a cold beer for when I get home
A bit of peace
A shag

If I remember correctly, sometimes I used to get a coffee.

Now my wife’s proclivities are not quite the same as mine but I thought the ‘do unto others’ angle worth perusing. To this end in the first week I did the following:

In the mornings

I made my wife a cup of coffee just the way she likes it.
I packed her lunch for her which changed daily but always included:

– Two types of fruit

– A variety of biscuits

– A drink such as a can of cola or a flavored breakfast milk

– A sandwich that always contained at least one form of dairy, meat and/or egg

– Occasionally a thermos of soup

I then made the children’s breakfast and generally kept them out of her hair as she prepared for the day. Then it was kisses goodbye and well-wishes for the day ahead as she drove off.

In the evenings

Dinner was always on cooking when she arrived home, and always a recipe I knew she enjoyed.
A glass of chilled wine was held in my outstretched hand.
The children awaited her – clean, fresh faced and eager to tell her about their days activities. Sometimes they held flowers we had picked for her that day.
After dinner I would whisk the kids off to bathe whilst she watched her evening shows.
When the children went to sleep I had my ‘bedroom eyes’ on and something sexy underneath my dressing gown in case she needed some ‘stress relief’ from her hard day.

*Omelette made from organic, free range duck eggs- Mr Perfection over here!*

Of course, that was me in the first week of being a househusband. So far in the second week:

She got a glass of half-flat wine on Monday, and only then because there was some leftover from a bottle on the weekend.
Tuesday the kids and I slept in so she had to make her own damn lunch.
Wednesday the kids were filthy because they had been traipsing around the farm with me while I fixed a pump at the creek and we ate red meat because that’s what I wanted.
No hot dinner at all waiting Thursday as I needed her to bring home groceries to make it.
Today on Friday the sexy underwear got put back in the bottom draw, since it seems to have caused more bemusement than arousal over the last fortnight

*Big Angry Trev’s version of ‘subtly seductive’*

So the first lesson I have learned as a Househusband is:

“It’s easy to start with perfection, but impossible to maintain it”

Hmmm… maybe this gig won’t be as easy as I first thought.

Got something to say? Would love to read it in the comments section below!

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Househusband Tales #2 – Bathrooms are Bull$hIt!

Transformer Toy Reviews

Toy Review – RID Twinferno

September 8, 2017 Big Angry Trev Leave a comment

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Well to be honest we don’t bloody know what it’s supposed to be! Let’s try to find out together dear readers as we examine Deluxe Sized, Robots In Disguise: Combiner Force Twinferno (a double mouthful eh!)

*Try and find which ‘Year of the…’ this figure represents*

Robot Mode

A basic enough looking robot. Like all other ~~Doublecross~~ Twinferno toys you have the dragon heads as the hands which always looks cool. The red is too garish and makes his head blend in with the rest of his body too much. You can swivel the head to pose him in different positions but his shoulders are that high that it looks weird unless he is really looking forward. The flame pieces can be placed in the dragon heads to make them look like they are breathing fire. They can also be put in the holes under the dragon’s chins but this doesn’t really look great.

Alt-Mode

*‘What am I? I’m having a double-identity crisis!’*

Ok, what the hell is this supposed to be? Did G1 Doublecross and G2 Dreadwing smoke some bad Energon one night and come up with this weird amalgamation of themselves, with Tony Stark coming in at the last minute and saying “throw a bit of Hot Rod red in there”? I mean seriously – this thing is weird! It’s not a stealth bomber (definitely not with that colour scheme!) and it’s not a twin-headed dragon. Instead it’s a weird Fuzor-esque hybrid of the two that looks like it’s out of some weird futuristic Chinese mythology. I guess if you imagined it in real life it would be kinda badass, a bomber flying over the city with two dragon heads hanging off the front writhing and spewing flames, and indeed the heads/necks are maneuverable in this mode. The flames are supposed to come out the back to show his speed, but once again you can put them coming out of the mouth.

*‘It’s a medical condition – don’t you judge me!’*

Transformation

Like all RID toys this figure is almost insultingly easy which makes it great for a young kid but certainly lessens the appeal for the older collectors.

Worth your money?

It seems that obscure characters get these little resurgences sometimes. A few years ago it was Guzzle who was showing up in the Movie and Kre-O lines as well as the IDW comics. Now its ~~Doublecross~~ Twinferno showing up in the Titans Return, Tiny Titans and RID lines. Odd actually that the Tiny Titans version, despite being a subline of RID, is based on the G1/TR version. Speaking of which, if you want a cool modern representation of this character then I would definitely go the Titans Return version which is twin heads and shoulders above this one.

Got something to say about this toy? Would love to read it in the comments section below!

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Transformer Toy Reviews

Toys Review – Titans Return Blitzwing and Octone

September 6, 2017 Big Angry Trev 2 Comments

The Titans Return toyline has had a peculiar quirk. To get more toy sales Hasbro has been releasing figures that obviously have other characters alt-modes before those characters get released themselves. To this end we had a Sentinel Prime which would obviously be retooled into Astrotrain and a Sky Shadow which everyone knew would become Overlord (making some people regretful they spent a fortune on Carnifex). Now the last two obvious retools have been made and we get a look at Wave 5 which was what we all wanted Wave 3 to be. So lets take a look at Blitzwing (retooled from TR Megatron) and Octone (retooled from TR Optimus Prime).

Blitzwing

Robot Mode

*‘Yes the last version of me had a longer and thicker turret, but I have a better personality’*

Quite a nice looking Blitzwing and is both well proportioned and easy to pose. One thing here that is a big plus is he does not come with the shoulder issues that the Thrilling 30 version of him came with. You can remove the tank turret from his back if you don’t like it sticking up but personally I find it gives him that bit more of a G1 look. Speaking of a G1 look, its interesting that his ~~Headmaster~~ Titan Master Hazard looks a lot more like the original toy than what Blitzwing looked like in the cartoon.

Tank Mode

*‘Stop staring at my skinny turret I said!’*

While certainly better looking than the Thrilling 30 version, he suffers from having a big gap at the front with his jet modes engines on display for all to see. Also the wings would benefit from an extra few millimeters so that they could fold properly down the sides and underneath the tank rather than jut out from the sides. I quite like the little cockpit sticks up like a blast shield instead of just hiding Hazard within.

*Now you are just overcompensating Blitzwing*

Jet Mode

A lot more sleek than the Thrilling 30 version. However instead of having his legs sticking up on the back its got his tank parts sticking out below, much like the G1 toy. While that’s great for display, it aint great for play and for any kid making him zoom above their heads its quite an obvious design quirk that perhaps could have been handled better.

*Good if you want to risk your partner shooting you in the back of the cockpit*

Octone

IDW – say goodbye to all those ‘Tall Tankor’ jokes

Robot Mode

*‘Sandstorm, check it out! I’m finally Voyager-sized!’*

I think probably the best looking official ~~Octane~~ Octone toy we have had to date (which if you count the Kre-O version makes a whopping total of 4). He has the taller shoulders reminiscent of the Universe version and the dynamic wings of the G1 version along with the squarish chest. Once again he is able to be posed fairly easily as well as good articulation. Would have been nice to see him armed with a shield instead of a second gun.

Tanker Truck Mode

Best. Taker Truck Mode. Ever. The G1 version was good but the huge arms at the sides wrecked it and you had to add the huge cover on the back whereas here it is built in. This tanker mode looks very sleek for a tanker truck, makes the odd colour scheme work well and I love the stripes at the sides. Only thing is be careful of the stripes – they are stickers, not paint – and are liable to get worn off unless you are careful during transformations. There is a small unobtrusive cockpit on the top of the tanker for Murk to ride in.

*Yeah, put some cannons firing hot plasma right next to all that volatile Energon – there’s a good idea.*

Cargo Plane Mode

*The back is definitely not aerodynamic…*

It seems all Octone toys suffer in some form from having a bit that just wont fit. With the G1 toy it was the arms in tanker truck mode (yes they weren’t great in plane mode either but at least sorta hid under the wings) and with the Universe mode it was that one of the robots arms ended in a vastly oversized melee blade that frankly looked odd at best. With this incarnation of Octone it’s the cargo plane mode. The front two-thirds look fine but he has the split truck cab sitting either side at the back, making the G1 plane vastly superior for me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a nice enough looking plane but certainly the weakest of his three modes.

Worth your money?

So are these two worth getting? For ~~Octane~~ Octone I’d say a definite yes. Despite the drawback of the plane modes rear it is still the best Octane toy we have had to date. Blitzwing, well, it depends if you have the Thrilling 30 version and how much you like it. Blitzwing seems destined to never have a normal head again, either sporting three faces of darkness or his skull turning into a little robot and running off. Personally I’m still glad I got him and he fits in well to my ever expanding Blitzwing family.

Got something to say about these two toys? Would love to read it in the comments section below!

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Transformer Toy Reviews, Videos

Video: Comparison of LG43 Trypticon and Titans Return Trypticon

August 31, 2017 Big Angry Trev Leave a comment

Due to people really enjoying the written review I did showcasing the differences (were there any?) between the Legends and Titans Return versions of Trypticon, I have followed it up with a short video comparison of the two – enjoy!

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Transformer Toy Reviews

Toy Review – LG43 Trypticon vs Titans Return Trypticon

August 30, 2017 Big Angry Trev 11 Comments

When I wrote the comparison blog between Takra Tomys Unite Warriors Computron and Hasbro’s Combiner Wars Computron it took me about two days to take all the pictures, write up all the subtle differences and overall decide which set was better.

With Legends Trypticon and Titans Return Trypticon? I should be done by the end of the commercial break.

Here is a comparison of the boxes, the boxes are indeed different.

Here are the instructions for the Legends version that have a comic on the back. That’s kinda different.

***To read the English translation of this comic – check it out on Tets Toys HERE.***

Here are the sticker sheets. The stickers are exactly the same, though I suppose the size of the sheet they come on is different, I guess.

*Kinda like getting the exact same meal but on two different types of plate.*

The way the Legends version and the Titans Return version have been strapped in their boxes is different in layout I suppose.

Now to Trypticon himself, the differences are…. they are…. um….

*‘One of these Cons is not like the other one…. oh wait’*

The differences are non-existent!

That’s right kiddies – there is absolutely no difference between the two versions – none! All the things you may have previously been lead to believe, such as the teal was darker and the purple richer in the Legends version are not correct. That the paint apps are built in and you don’t have to apply stickers like the Hasbro version – false. The only way I could keep the two from getting mixed up when taking photographs was that I had already applied some of the stickers to the Titans Return version. The same goes for their smaller partners.

**Full-Tilt** vs **Full-Tilt**. No difference

**Necro** vs **Titan Maste**r: Difference in name only

In the end I didn’t even bother transforming the Legends version. I packed it straight back in its box and am going to carefully store it for a decade so hopefully I can in the future sell it (and make back the extra $80 I paid getting it shipped from Japan) as relatively MIB. In a day and age where toy producers are conscious that some collectors will shell out big money for multiple versions of an expensive toy for even the slightest difference, I was honestly surprised there was none here. Not even an extra gun like Metroplex or a new hat like Malibu Stacy!

Is one worth getting over the other? Nope. The only thing is that some of the Titans Return versions have the dodgy hips (for an excellent way to fix that see HERE) whereas none of the LG43 versions have had that problem reported as yet. So if the fact you don’t have to worry about this possible defect is worth the extra costs of shipping to you then grab that one. Otherwise, unless you are rolling in cash and want to have both types of box to display, go down to your local toy store and grab the Hasbro one.

Got something to add? Would love to read it in the comments section below!

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Ask Trev!, Fan Interviews & Art, Transformatorium

Fanscan interview with Big Angry Trev

August 30, 2017 Big Angry Trev Leave a comment

This is a transcript of an interview I did where I answered questions from fellow Aussie Transfans – enjoy!

Women want him (to stop belching mainly)

Men want to be him (so that his toys becomes theirs)

He is the Alpha Trion and the Omega Supreme. He is all things to all peoples. As he travels the globe he brings a sense of hope and the scent of heavily fried bacon into the lives of all he touches.

He is a hero of the fanbase
Big Transformer Trev!

Fanscan Interview: August 2017
Subject: Big Angry Trev
Interviewer: Dr. Hook, PhD, OBE, FIBRIR
Master of Processes: Mr. S Megatron

Dr. H: (takes a seat) Thank you for joining me here today.
BAT: (takes the seat opposite) No probs.
Dr. H: Care for a water? Or tea?
BAT: Na. Got any beer? Maybe some jerky or a couple of rissoles?
Dr. H: Er… no.
BAT: I take it a fried egg & bacon sandwich is out of the question?
Dr. H: We have no meat or alcohol on the premises
BAT: Shit, really? Don’t worry then
Dr. H: Ok, we are going to go through some of what are referred to as the ‘stock’ questions, then some questions from some of the Aussie Transfans out there.
BAT: (leans back) Go for it.

Dr. H: Getting straight onto the topic of Transformers, if you had an Allegiance, what would it be?
BAT: Decepticon. I find humanity for the most part to be made up of fricken idiots! I’d love to rule the planet and thusly run it the way I think it needs to be run, under the threat of force from my giant army of killer shape-changing robots from space!

Dr. H: (Underlines ‘messiah complex‘) What would your techspec motto be?
BAT: All shall love me and despair
Dr. H: You stole that from LOTR didn’t you.
BAT: (shrugs) Don’t give a f*ck – always really loved that phrase.

Dr. H: Which existing, official Transformers character best describes you?
BAT: Back in my hippy/backpacker years I would have said Beachcomber. When I was a brash young man I would have said Hot Rod. Now, I dunno, I guess maybe Brainstorm from The Lost Light? Good deep down but a smart arse, slightly amoral and thinks he is more intelligent than everyone else. Chuck in a bit of Whirl psychoticness for good measure andSwerve’s obsessive need to amuse in the hope he will be accepted by his peers.

Dr. H: Which special ability of any Transformers character would you want to have for yourself?
BAT: Blurr’s super speed, I reckon that beats almost every other power if you are too fast to stop or hit. But since I’ve been a kid I’ve dreamed about flying. To have personal flight like the G1 cartoon Cons (a Disney-Movieesque sparkle enters his eyes), what freedom that would be!

Dr. H: How would you rate yourself on a C scale, C10 being MISB Mint perfection to the lowest C1 ‘junker not worth it even for parts’?
BAT: For a long time I’ve felt like C3 at best. In the past few months with no booze, smokes and energy drinks I reckon I’d be a C7 or 8. Or as close to as someone my age can be. I’ve lost nearly 10 kilos and do physical work all day with breaking nary a sweat.

Dr. H: How long have you been a fan of Transformers?
BAT: Since the very first episode aired on TV here in Australia back in 1984 – love at first sight!

Dr. H: And how long have you been a collector?
BAT: As a kid you just take what toys you are given so I reckon I started being a ‘collector’ as a teenager. I started collecting a lot of the reissues that I had originally missed like the combiner groups and stopped when G1 finished. I then started collecting again when a friend gave me a G1 Optimus for my first wedding in 2001 and have been going ever since.

Dr. H: Do you think you will collect Transformers until you die?
BAT: Is that a threat?! (smashes bottle on side table and brandishes it) IS THAT A THREAT YOU FILTHY BASTARD?!?!
Dr. H: (looking shocked and slightly disgusted) No! Now sit down sir.
BAT: F*CK YOU!
Dr. H: I SAID SIT DOWN SIR!
BAT: (sits, looking properly chastised) Ok, no need to be snippy.

Dr. H: Ahem. Now. Do people outside of the general Transformers fandom know you collect TFs?
BAT: (grinning again) Oh my yes, have you seen my ute?

Dr. H: Were your family/parents supportive of collecting toys or did you have to hide your passion from them and friends?
BAT: Mum ran a little toy shop so during my teens I got all my TF’s at cost price. I vaguely remember her being annoyed once when I bought my 3rd pack of Micromasters in the one fortnight. Dad, well, Dad stayed on the farm all his life and had a few issues so to be honest probably couldn’t have told you what I collected, since if it wasn’t related to the farm he wasn’t interested. My friends have always been really supportive of my collecting as an adult.

Dr. H: Given your rather gregarious nature, have you attended any fan-meets, Fairs, Conventions etc?
BAT: When I lived in Melbourne I used to go to Supernova each year but was never aware of any Transformer-specific events.

Dr. H: Being creative, do you do any such endeavors with Transformers such as drawing, writing, customising etc?
BAT: I used to write fanfics about 15 years ago. My Soundwave vs The Borg one was the top rated on Lexicon for quite a while. But no, not really, except for reviews on my blog.

Dr. H: What is your favourite series, era or year, and why?
BAT: I’m a geewunner through and through. I have enjoyed pretty much all the iterations of the Transformers, even the movies, but G1 wins hands down for me.

Dr. H: And your least favourite series/era/year, and why?
BAT: I really didn’t like the first Robots in Disguise series back in the naught-ies. I found the cartoon awful and while many of the toys alt-modes looked fantastic – the best I’d seen since early G1 – I found the majority of the toys had needlessly complicated transformations, especially the 3 Autobot brothers.

Dr. H: Do you collect any of the comics?
BAT: I’ve collected most everything from the Marvel G2 run onwards and have since gotten a lot of reissues of the Marvel G1 ones.

Dr.H: And what have been your favorite comic stories?
BAT: I really loved the first half of the IDW ‘All Hail Megatron’ storyline. It was great to see how easily the Decepticons handed humanity their arse! I quite liked the Sunstorm story arc from Dreamwave and am currently enjoying MTMTE/The Lost Light. And since they were the first comics I ever owned the entire run of, I really enjoyed the G2 twelve-parter, even if the second and third issues were pretty weak.

Dr. H: Collect any cartoons?
BAT: (looks up a pic on his phone and holds it up smugly) You tell me doc.

Dr. H: Er, yes, well done. Do you have a favorite cartoon or episode?
BAT: G1 is da bomb baby. Do people still say that? F*ck it – I’m bringing it back! The mutha-f*cking bomb yo! Optimus Prime actually sounded happy and used to laugh back then! Call of the Primitives was an awesome episode from season 3 but I could happily watch nothing but seasons 1 & 2 for the rest of my days.

Dr. H: Who is your favourite character, and why?
BAT: Aw man, that’s like asking a guy to pick his favorite kid again. Don’t have an absolute favorite but I really dig Soundwave, Swindle, Shockwave, Starscream, Grimlock, Hot Rod, Omega Supreme, etc.

Dr. H: Who do you think is the sexiest Transformer?
BAT: (looks aghast) Dude. They are giant alien robots. There is nothing sexy going on.
Dr. H: I took the liberty of looking at your blog before this interview started. Care to explain this image from one of your reviews then?

BAT: I..I like to have a comfortable mousepad for my wrist is all.
Dr. H: So why did you need two?
BTT: I’ve…. got two wrists?
Dr. H: (sotto voce) And I bet they both get worn out pretty often.
BAT: What was that?
Dr. H: Nothing.

Dr. H: Which Transformers character would you want to exist for real?
BAT: Omega Supreme. Always loved him, plus he is big enough to intimidate entire countries and get me off planet if needs be.

Dr. H: Favourite TFs movie?
BAT: The animated one from 86’ – I can recite every word off by heart and have the soundtrack in my twincab CD player permanently.

Dr. H: Which was your very first Transformers toy?
BAT: G1 Dirge. Got given it for my birthday from a lady my mum used to babysit for. I went that nuts that when it was Xmas the next month I scored both a Mirage and a Cyclonus from my siblings.

Dr. H: Given you have been collecting for over 30 years then, approximately how many Transformer action figures in your collection now?
BAT: I haven’t done a database update for a while but I know earlier in the year I passed the 2000 mark. And I’ve got about a thousand other TF items like clothing, books, mugs and stuff.

Dr. H: Do you keep the action figures sealed or do you take them out to play with?
BAT: I reckon I’ve got maybe 100+ that have never been opened. Half of those would be because I never got around to it, like a lot of the DOTM Human Alliance toys.

Dr. H: Given your impressive collection, how much do you think you’ve spent on your collecting habit all up?
BAT: Oh f*ck knows – thousands, probably tens of thousands all up.

Dr. H: Are any of these particularly rare or expensive?
BAT: The MP Coneheads were stupidly expensive. I spent about $500 on a MIB G1 Scorponok about 5 years ago and over a grand on a 100% complete G1 Fortress Maximus the year before that. Of course 5 months later they announced the reissue that was going for a quarter of that price – was kicking myself. Also got the Botcon Stunticon lot shipping as we speak. As for rare, I do have a G1 Bumblebee red-variant somewhere.

Dr. H: What interesting Licensed Merchandise items do you have?
BAT: I have a tshirt from the actual visual effects team from the first live action movie. An American mate of mine had a friend who worked on TF1 and he passed it along. I’ve also got Big Grim from TF4 as well of course, though he is currently awaiting repair.

Dr. H: What’s one toy you most want?
BAT: One? Bwah haha! You are joking mate – there are bloody tons! If I was to make up a list off the top of my head though from different continuities I’d say:
G1 Overlord
G2 Megatron
BW Blackarachnia
BM Obsidian
RID(01) Scourge
Armada Powerlink Thrust
Energon Beachcomber & Galvatron
Cybertron Skywarp
Animated Blackout & Ratbat
Prime Bludgeon
RID(15) Cyclonus
RescueBots Salvage
Movieverse TLK Leader Megatron
Timelines Slicer
Henkei Ratchet
Arms Micron Breakdown
Titanium Prowl

Dr. H: Whoah – that’s quite a list! I can’t believe you came up with that off the top of your head! One would almost think you Googled the toylines in advance in anticipation of my question.
BAT: (looking shifty) Na, I wouldn’t do that. Hey look over there – that wall is pretty rockin eh!

Dr. H: Moving on. What is the current centerpiece or favoured toy in your collection at the moment?
BAT: Titans Return Trypticon with G1 Overdrive an honorable second.

Dr. H: What was your favourite toy in your early years of collecting?
BAT: As a young kid it was the Stunticons as it was the only combiner group I had.

Dr. H: Which Toy do you like transforming most and why?
BAT: The reissue Powermaster Optimus Prime. That’s so much fun and so satisfying.

Dr. H: What’s the worst toy in your collection?
BAT: RescueBots Quickshadow – what a f*cking piece of shit! Only one damn movement to transform and it still f*cks up!

Dr. H: Along those lines, which toy was most disappointing when you got it?
BAT: Masterpiece Star Saber. Paid a ton for it and its just such an underwhelming toy.

Dr.H: What do you think about gimmicky and non-convertable Transformers toys?
BAT: I have almost zero interest in toy gimmicks, like I’d probably be happier if a lot of the Titans Return toys were not Headmasters. As for non-convertible, if it’s a display piece like a bust or statuette that’s cool, otherwise I don’t see the point of them. I do have most of the Robot Heroes though and love those little guys!

Dr. H: What do you think about unlicensed fan-project figures and accessories?
BAT: I don’t touch’em usually. I got an upgrade kit for my CW Menasor because frankly he looked shit compared to the other gestalts. I also picked up some 3P Quintessons simply as otherwise I’d have no toy of them at all.

Dr. H: Thoughts on the Transformers Brand over the last five years?
BAT: Pretty damn good – it’s an awesome time to be a collector, even if it hits the wallet pretty hard. The Beast Hunters cartoon and the Generations toyline are the definite highlights of the last half decade. The fact we have had two high-grossing live action movies bodes damn well for the franchise as well.

Dr. H: Best Memory with Transformers?
BAT: I’m forming new ones with my son every week.

Dr. H: Worst memory with Transformers?
BAT: When I was a kid I scored Omega Supreme because I literally got down on my knees and begged when I saw him in the shop on a family holiday. A few weeks later the movement gimmick of him stopped working and my mum returned him. A few days after that I was telling a mate at school and he said “Why didn’t you just keep it anyway?” It was such an obvious thing to do, I was kicking myself! Think I even went away and had a little cry.
These days it’s all the fighting and negativity that seems to permeate the fanbase. People seem to think that making personal insults to strangers, over something like a difference of opinion about toys, is fine because its online. My motto: ‘If you wouldn’t say it to someone in the pub because you’d get a smack in the mouth – don’t say it online!’

Dr. H: In your opinion, which single TF toy should every fan own?
BAT: There are two, both masterpiece. MP Optimus with the trailer and MP Soundwave with the cassettes.

Dr. H: Which Transformers toy/product would you give as a wedding present?
BAT: I got a G1 Optimus for my first wedding and was thrilled, can’t think of a better one to give anyone else.

Dr. H: Do you collect anything else?
BAT: During the post-G1 years I collected memorabilia from the TV show Home Improvement. Clothing, mugs, board games, trading cards – the lot! A few years ago I was collecting anime figures like Super Sonico & Pochaco but it was cutting too much into my Transformers budget and stopped.

Dr. H: (subtly Googles ‘Pochaco’ on his phone, then writes under the other observations ‘probable mazophiliac’) What other interests do you have that are non-toy related?
BAT: Mainly hobby farming. For every minute I spend playing with my Transformers I probably spend a full day working on my farm. Everything from building cubby houses, pirate ships and sandpits for my kids to organically growing fruit, vegetables and the like. I have goats, chooks, ducks etc. I really do love living on a farm in the nice, quiet, beautiful countryside and growing plants and animals. I’ve quit teaching to see if I can make a go of it as a living.
Other stuff? Well I love meat – like I REALLY love meat! My wife was a vegetarian when I first met her 15 years ago – didn’t take me long to lure her back to the winning side. I intend to start making my own sausages soon as well as brewing my own beer.
I’m a big fan of Deadpool and also The Tick.
I’d say my family but that’s not an interest – that’s my reason for existence.

Dr. H: What entertainment do you enjoy for leisure? As in music, movies, tv, books and the like?
BAT: When it comes to music I don’t give a damn what is popular or what genre it is, it’s whether I personally like it. So back in the day I was just as likely to listen to The Spice Girls as I was hard rock. If I have a particular genre I like best it’s probably Speed Metal. The best way to describe it is, if the song makes me want to charge into battle and headbutt a tank then that’s the music for me! If I have a favorite band at the moment I’d say it is Baby Metal. What it will be in 6 months I honestly don’t know. Quite like Hilltop Hoods, Rammstein and The Wombats as well. Best show I’ve seen live was the Jon Butler Trio a few years back.
Movies, my tastes are fairly wide but generally action and/or comedy are the ones that appeal to me. A good sci-fi/horror gets my vote as well. Anything that talks about feelings – no thank you! Anything animated – yes please! I don’t watch movies that much because frankly you can figure out the plot and the probable ending in the first 5 mintues of a flick these days. I really liked Seven because it didn’t have a happy ending.
Television, I don’t really watch much as I’m an outdoors person and of a night we have the kids routine to work through. The shows I make time for would be Criminal Minds, Law & Order SVU & Mad as Hell. Just finished season 2 of Arrow. My fav show at the moment would be Rick & Morty – it’s awesome! I’m really hoping the new version of The Tick does justice to such a great character. The only reality TV show I’d ever watch would be if it chronicled me hunting down the f*cker that invented reality TV in the first f*cking place and shoving a movie camera forcibly up his bastard arse! Stupid f*cking shit that it is!
Books, don’t have much time for sadly which is a shame because I’ve always been a prolific reader. I enjoy reading classics that I’ve never encountered before, the latest one would be The Day of the Triffids and before that it was Animal Farm and One flew over the Cuckoos Nest. I’ve read the Discworld series to death and when younger used to read Footrot Flatsover and over. I like Deadpool comics as well.

Dr. H: If you died today, and no that’s not a threat, what would your tombstone say?
BAT: Realistically, and most accurately, probably ‘Loving Husband and Father’. But I wouldn’t mind it saying ‘Trev’s on his way – duck and cover God!’

Dr. H: And before we move onto the submitted questions from other Aussie Transfans, is there anything else you would like people to know about you?
BAT: Not really, I’m a very private person.
Dr. H: Yes, evidently so.

Quote:

Question by Bas

Did you really get shitty at the thought of Prime being a primate?

Quote:

Question by ‘The Raider’

Monkey or Truck? 😛

BAT: Ok, let’s put this Beast Wars thing to rest once and for all.
My G1 collecting massively slowed down in the late 80’s as the majority of the Decepticons became weird monster things rather than vehicles. A few monsters and animals I didn’t mind being in there for variety and loved groups like the Dinobots and Predacons, but it was getting too much by 1988 and taking up too much of the line. Hence why I had groups like the Triggercons but not the Decepticon Headmasters. Then came the Pretenders and I absolutely hated them – organic shells seemed so stupid! Where were the armies of giant robots that turned into jets and trucks and sports cars and stuff that I fell in love with in 84’? So my collecting slowly died and I bid Transformers what I thought was a final sad farewell, with the Predator team being the last lot I collected that I really liked.
Animorphs came and went which I didn’t even credit as being Transformers. Then one day in 1996 I was flicking channels and there was some talking rat who looked up to a gorilla standing next to him and called him ‘Optimus’. What. The. F*ck!? I watched a bit more and found out that THIS was the new version of Transformers and that Optimus turned into a gorilla and Megatron turned into a T-Rex and both they and their armies were all really small and had organic alt-modes now. Also they were called Maximals and Predacons instead of Autobots and Decepticons which seemed to be just a bunch of new-age bollocks.
It was blasphemy! It was bullshit! It was a kick in the face to everything I had loved about the franchise! I was beyond pissed off and ranted, usually over several beers at the Uni pub, that this was everything that was wrong with the world and they might as well start dropping the bloody nukes right now!
Of course many years later on I learned better. I learned that these were not the original Optimus and Megatron and that the series actually paid a lot of homage to G1 and was a continuation of it rather than a replacement. Then came Transmetal bodies, The Ark, appearances by Ravage etc and I got right into it. So now I have the DVD box sets, a couple of toys, some comics, a poster etc. Yeah it’s not my favorite iteration of Transformers, not even in my top 5. But I can appreciate it for what it is and there are some episodes from late in S3 I’d happily watch again and again. I really like Depthcharge and have a soft spot for Waspinator.

Question by Scott

So I hear you’re the current Ozformers Member of the Year (2016). The website owner has held this prominent position for many a years. Do you think the voters got ‘boss fatigue’ & voted for a non-traditional member? (just like Donald Trump for the White House)

BAT: I am nothing like Trump!

I don’t think I was Boss fatigue per’se, it was just a bit of fun to vote for someone different. In fact I think he himself had been encouraging people for years to not vote for him. If there is any element of what you are suggesting involved, at most it may be that the site owner is often forced into the teacher role trying to control peoples behavior whereas I’m often at the other end of the spectrum in the naughty-scamp role, stirring shit hither and yon.

Question by Scott

The elections on that site are always shrouded in mud slinging & dirty campaign tactics but never get the light of day. Can you give an insight on how your campaign team was so overwhelmingly successful to achieve 29% of all primary votes.

BAT: It was all a bit of fun really. I Give all the credit to Scotty for doing campaign art!

Question by Megatran

You’ve got more Transformers apparel than most people. Which Transformers apparel are you most fond of? How’d it come into your possession?

BAT: Well I already talked about the tshirt from the visual effects team. I’ve got a light-up Autobot tshirt somewhere that I like for the novelty value and about 8 different G1 Soundwave tops. I think my favorite one at the moment is my Optimus one where he is a Truck because of the message on it.

It’s not remotely PC which always gets my vote but also is self-mocking via the fact that anyone wearing a Transformers tshirt in public is actually very unlikely to be mobbed by the opposite sex.

Question by Michael

My question: It’s no secret you have young kids. What do you do (if anything) to pass the torch of TF fanship to the next generation? Is it a concern for you if they decide to not pursue TFs as a hobby/interest?

BAT: Well considering my sons given names the poor little sod never had much of a chance to avoid the Transformers world. He truly loves it though and to be honest sharing it with him is now the highlight of the hobby for me! I never open a new toy without him and he loves putting the trading cards in my folder, holding the Titan Masters and weapons while I transform the figures and playing with them in both modes. He has a pretty extensive collection for a 4 year old, with the majority of the Rescue Bots, a lot of the Happy Meal figures and a few huge figures like the Stomp’n’Chomp Grimlock and RID(15) Bumbebee. He’s got tons of TF clothing himself as I buy it for him whenever I see it.

I have a crate up in the cupboard full of Transformer stuff for him for future birthdays, many based around his namesake.

My daughter has not fully escaped either. At only two years of age I’m getting her right into my little pony and even made a display of TF/MLP comic crossover covers for her wall.

If they hated Transformers I’d be disappointed but it doesn’t concern me if neither of my kids pursue it as a hobby or interest. They are awesome little individuals with their own lives and their own tastes. After all, I love my wife and I still haven’t managed to get her to even watch AoE yet! It was a major disappointment to my family that, despite me actually giving everything a go such as being on the school cricket and basketball teams, that I had bugger all interest in sport – it wasn’t who I was. I don’t wanna inflict that kinda judgment on my kids or try and force them into something they won’t enjoy – I’ve been there.

Question by JUST CHILEN YO

If you could go back in time to collect a MISB Transformer, either Hasbro or TakTom, what would it be?

BAT: • If it was for desire I’d say G1 Overlord since that is one toy I will probably never own and I’d absolutely love to get my hands on – it looks so damn cool!
• If it was for profit I’d say G1 Fort Max, I’d bring him back to the future and flog him for a fortune!
• If it was out of bitterness, I’d say G1 Soundwave. I gave one to a close mate in my early 20’s and a couple of months later he turned into a total bastard and we weren’t friends anymore, so I regret giving him such a special gift – especially since I may have two G1 Soundwave’s myself but neither have their box.
• If it was MOSC instead of MISB I’d say Squawktalk & Beastbox since they are the only Hasbro Con cassettes I am missing.

Dr. H: Big Angry Trev, thanks for joining us today.
BAT: No wukkas, can you call me a taxi?
Dr. H: You’re a taxi
BAT: Oh, just fu*k off would ya!

__________________

Games & Competitions, Transformatorium

Elita One Mouse Pad

August 27, 2017 Big Angry Trev 10 Comments

Back in May we had a look at the two first wrist-rest mouse pads made with a Transformers theme, those being modeled after Acree and Windblade respectively.

Most people, whether they liked them or were horrified by them, were none the less fascinated and speculated whether there would be any more. Now a few months later we have our answer. Another femmebot has let her form grace the pad so that Transfans and netnerds everywhere can click away without thier poor wrists getting sore, that femmebot being Elita One.

Elita One is looking just as buxom as her femmebot comrades here. Once again we have the soft silicone at the bottom that feels quite smooth to the touch and the top gives you plenty of room to manuver your mouse around when you are looking up websites about, er, morality and self-denial.

*‘Sigh… if I want to lie flat, it always has to be on my back’*

I actually do really like the artwork here. There hasn’t been a massive amount of artwork of Elita One. She has been in IDW for the past couple of years as a warrior space captain, often depicted with her damaged helmet and sitting upon her throne made up of the skeletal remains of the previous ships leaders. Even without the ‘wrist rest’ parts this is a far softer depiction of her and a nice change of pace.

*From the neck up you can actually focus on the great facial artwork rather than the… hoodmeat.*

But of course all the rationalization in the world wont get you away from the fact that this is a booby-pad – designed to appeal to a combination of Transfan and Mazophiliac. Once again, you can leave it in the packaging so that you can hang it on the walls to impress your friends and family if you wish.

Related Article: Transformers Wrist Rest Mouse Pads

Competition Time!

When the first two of these mouse pads appeared online a lot of people speculated which character would come next, the majority believing it would be Beast Wars Blackarachnia, especially given her comic art from her Legends toy. But since we got Elita One instead we are back to wondering – who will be next?

Here is the competition. In the comments section below list 5 femmebots you would like to see given the wrist-rest mouse pad treatment. If your list of 5 turn out to be the next five made, even if not in the same order, you win a prize! I’ll sort out the prizes when the time comes since it will depend on how many winners there are and what – heh – what could be considered acceptable in their households, but it will definitely be femmebot related.

Competition Update: Well done to Jazzcomp, Raider, DH, MayzaPrime, David, Jazz1984 & Kaijuguy. Blackarachnia was the next Mouse Pad released so you are all still in the running for a prize! Hopefully there wont be such a delay before the next Mouse Pad is released.

Until that day, Until all look like Elita One – happy clicking!

Big Angry Trev!

Yearly Archives: 2017

Househusband Tales #3 – The Library Playgroup

Toys Review – the Combiner Force Stunticons

Househusband Tales #2 – Bathrooms are Bull$hIt!

Househusband Tales #1 – Pampering Poorly Perfected

Toy Review – RID Twinferno

Toys Review – Titans Return Blitzwing and Octone

Video: Comparison of LG43 Trypticon and Titans Return Trypticon

Toy Review – LG43 Trypticon vs Titans Return Trypticon

Fanscan interview with Big Angry Trev

Elita One Mouse Pad

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