Category Archives: Random Reviews

Here you get Big Angry Trev’s unbiased opinion on everything – from music to movies to meat – we’ve got ya covered!

Star Trek V: Kirk vs God

While I quite like Star Wars – the first three movies made at any rate – I’m much more of a Trekkie.  And like my feelings on Star Wars, I much prefer the original stuff to the new stuff.  Oh there have been some quite good new movies made in both franchises, but it’s the old stuff that revs my engine.

Before Star Trek: The Next Generation debuted, there were 6 Star Trek movies. Admittedly the first one was a dog’s breakfast, an absolute shitshow which even the most die hard Trek fans struggle to like. The others were more well received but there is one that still cops flak – unfairly in my opinion – to this day. And that is Star Trek V: The Final Frontier.

Or as I like to call it – Kirk vs God.

Back in The Original Series Kirk faced down not only supremely powerful aliens with god-like powers routinely, but even met old gods from Earth like those of the Greek Pantheon.  In these encounters Kirk either had sex with them or beat them up – a winning formula for a Starship Captain on the frontier. 

Kirk: “I don’t care if he is in a dress – I’m not boning this one”

In Star Trek V this attitude of James Tiberius is taken to the extreme.  Let’s look a short synopsis of the plot:

 

*Kirk, Spock and Bones go camping, play with jet-boots and get drunk.

Kirk: “I was pissed and napping. I ain’t getting fully dressed for whatever this is”

*Spock’s half-brother Sybok brainwashes the crew of the Enterprise (bar Kirk & Spock) to fly the Starship to the center of the universe to find God.

*Klingon’s follow as their Commander wants to destroy Kirk since doing so, as his second in command states, it would make him “The greatest warrior in the Galaxy”.

*They find God.  Kirk, Bones, Spock and his brother beam down to a planet and have a chat with him.

God: “Hey, I’m God. I’m all loving, so do as I say or die!”

*Kirk doesn’t like the cut of God’s jib – Kirk thinks God is coming across as a bit of an arsehole.  So since God isn’t female Kirk picks a fight! God, wisely knowing that if he gets into a brawl with Kirk he will get his celestial arse handed to him, shoots at them with energy bolts instead, then has a wrestle with Spock’s brother and kills him.

*Kirk knows God’s cheating with the energy bolts so returns the favour by having The Enterprise shoot God with photon torpedoes. Kirk’s near where the blasts will impact but knows he can withstand it, whilst God himself sustains a nice bit of damage.  Kirk has his friends beamed away so he can finish the fight one-on-one.

*Kirk and God square off.  Before Kirk can headbutt him, the Klingon Bird of Prey spaceship shows up and shoots God in the face, killing him.  The gun then swings towards Kirk.

*Kirk’s pissed off – that was his fight!  So standing there he calls the Klingon’s bastards (despite the fact THE GUN THAT JUST KILLED GOD IS BEING AIMED RIGHT AT HIM!) and challenges the hovering Klingon Battleship to bring it on!

*Just before Kirk can punch on with the battleship he gets beamed up and turns out it was Spock in the Klingon battleship that shot God, as he was the Vulcan equivalent of pissed off at God for killing his brother.

*Everyone gets drunk again.

 

Now to me, that is good cinema.  Oh, besides the camping scene, the first half of the movie is forgettable with Spock’s half-brother running round curing peoples inner pain and whatnot.  And there was plenty of other stuff that probably could have been cut as well.  However the ending is great!

But then… could the ending have been EVEN BETTER?

I think so.  Frankly I wanted to see Kirk and God duke it out.  It might have been one of the few times Kirk was faced with an actual challenge – the two most powerful entities in the universe getting stuck into each other would have looked great on the big screen!  I also would have liked to see Kirk get into a fight with the Klingon Bird of Prey. Would have Kirk’s fists been enough to take down a heavily armed and armoured alien intergalactic battleship?  Personally I have faith they would have been up to the challenge, but I guess now we’ll never know.

Kirk vs Spaceship – lets get ready to rumble!

So yes, while many prefer the later Star Trek shows and movies, with Picard constantly drinking Earl Grey tea and Janeway talking to others about their feelings instead of, you know, making some tough decisions and actually getting her crew home quick, I shall always be a fan of the Original Series. And the last half hour of Star Trek V, where you get to see Kirk face off against the The Almighty himself and put the smack down, should be treasured by all those fans of Trek.

 

God something to say about this classic piece of cinematic history?  Pop it in the comments section below!

 

Related Article:

Movie Review – Star Trek Beyond

Review: SHIT THE BED Aussie Hot Sauce

During the summer bushfires we lost power to our home for several days and as such lost everything in our fridges – including my beautiful range of hot sauces.  Sniff… dark days indeed.

It’s over half a year later and I’m still slowly building a small collection back up.  As such, when I saw some for sale right in the little town we live near, I couldn’t resist grabbing a bottle.

classy…

So let’s have a look at the latest offering from Bunsters, subtly titled – SHIT THE BED Aussie Hot Sauce.

 

The Flavour

Now with a name like Shit the Bed you probably aren’t expecting a top of the range hot sauce, full of subtle flavours that complement the heat.  And you’d be right!  Trying a bit on its own is like getting stung on the tongue by a wasp, a short sharp unpleasant sting to the tastebuds.

Of course, hot sauces aren’t meant to be eaten on their own, just as one is not supposed to drink from a bottle of tomato sauce.  They are a condiment to be added to other foods.  So I tried this sauce out on a homemade double-beef burger.

I will say that as a supporting flavour this hot sauce does come into its own.  The sauce significantly added to the taste of the burger, and whilst still rough around the edges it was fairly pleasant on the whole.  The label on the bottle said the hot sauce goes great with pizza and eggs so I added an extra dollop to the fried egg on my burger for good measure.

 

Bring the Heat… please!

Pfff…. hot sauce for toddlers!

This hot sauce may have an initial bite to it, but it is severely lacking in the heat department, despite Warning: This sauce is extremely hot being on the back label.  Whoever wrote on the front label that the heat is 12/10 was either taking liberties with the truth or sorely needs to revisit their high school maths.  Even eating this hot sauce straight wont make you yearn for a cup of water or milk and within a minute the heat has fully receded from your mouth.  At a measly 35,000 Scoville’s it’s not even a  tenth as strong as Mad Dog 357 (which has a level of  357,000 Scoville) and does not deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence as God Slayer Fucking Hot Sauce which comes in at a whopping 6.4 million!  Yep, if you are after a heat challenge from your hot sauce I’d look elsewhere.

 

So… did I soil my sheets?

Promises Promises

The implied claim with the name of this product is that the hot sauce is so lethal it will make you shit the bed.  Indeed with some of the heat challenges I’ve done such as attempting Australia’s Hottest Hamburger, I’ve had to get up at 2am in extreme gastric distress and sit on the toilet for an hour or two.  Surprisingly, despite the relative lack of heat, around 10pm that night I did have to go sit on the toilet for a while with my stomach churning.  However instead of the usual liquid lava boiling from my bowels it felt like I had eaten a dodgy curry or something.  And if this had all taken place after I had nodded off, the attack was not that acute that I think I would have dropped a brown one in the bed rather than made it to the lavvy.  Nope, no ring of fire for this cowboy’s latest ride.

 

Is this hot sauce worth your time?

If you are a hot sauce connosuier like me then no.  It has an unpleasant taste on it’s own, is average on food and has very little heat.  The only thing it seems to have in common with the better/stronger hot sauces is that it causes you gastronomic queasiness, which is meant to be a side effect rather than the main selling point.   However given its cheap price point and vulgar name, it’s probably not a bad one to have on standby at a BBQ to give your boozed up mates a chuckle and to stick on a burger.

 

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God Slayer Hot Sauce

Album Review – Respect The Prime 1986 Revisited

Several weeks ago I reviewed the new Cybertronic Spree Album, which was a cover album of music from the 1986 animated classic Transformers: The Movie.

 

Not long after this, embarrassingly fanatic blog fans Trent (instigator of the latest hot sauce challenge) and Dallas informed me that there was another tribute album floating around out there from back in 2016.  One I had not even heard of!

 

So after a bit of net searching, and eschewing the ludicrously priced ones on eBay, I was able to track down for a reasonable cost Respect The Prime 1986 Revisited.

 

Cybertronic Spree did not disappoint, I wish I could say the same here.

Sorry to say but most of the covers range from tolerable to complete shite!   Whereas Cybertronic Spree tried to stay faithful to way the songs were intended whilst putting their own stamp on it, these no-name bands all seem to be trying to make the songs completely their own with a mixture of grunge and hard rock that just doesn’t suit the music at all.  The only thing that could put it above the Spree version is that you get 17 different groups of artists instead of one, but love for the source material is not evident from even one of them.

 

Instruments of Destruction is done by Deathproof featuring the singer from Red Lokust and he can’t seem to decide if he is growly grunge or rock, he could have pulled it off if only he had put a bit more testosterone into it.  At least the band that did the Transformers Theme Song put some grunt in, makes it sound like a cartoon theme song intended for a moshpit.  Ghostfeeder’s version of Nothin’s Gonna Stand In Our Way starts off pretty crap, however redeems itself by the end, making the tune at least bearably catchy.  Most other songs on the CD could be described as fitting into one description or the other of these two.  However there are two songs that stand out from the rest:

 

I always thought that certain Star Wars fans that talked about the prequel movies raping their childhoods were idiots.  Funnily enough those idiots are now all in their 40’s and seem to now love the prequels and hate the latest flicks.  And likewise many numbnuts shouted the same idiotic ‘childhood raped’ phrases when the Live-Action Transformers movies came out.  I never understood the mentality…

…until I heard The Dark Clan do Dare.

Man they fucking butchered it!  It was heartbreaking!  A song that have I associated nothing but wonderful thoughts and memories with over the last 30 years was bent over and given a non-consensual reaming! It was pure poison to the ears and soul and I hope the singer lies awake at night remembering the abominable thing he did.  You are a bad, bad man by doing such an awful thing to an innocent tune, especially the way you yodel ‘believe’ like a tone-deaf caterwauling hack. Shame I say, shame!

 

On the other hand, the rendition of Dare To Be Stupid by Caustic finally made this try-hard song hilarious!  I adore Weird Al but this was not one of his funnier songs, even if it does have a catchy beat.  But to hear it done in a sort of hardcore British Punk accent for some reason made the song work.  And the way the singer roared in this huge angry voice“MASHED POTATOS CAN BE YOUR FRIEND” was fucking piss-funny!  If this CD has one redeeming feature, this track is it.

 

So should you hunt down this CD?  Nope, no you shouldn’t.  Not worth it.  Either go buy the original soundtrack or the Cybertronic Spree album or both.  This one you can easily skip for it does not respect The Prime.

 

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Music Review: Cybertronic Spree

Music Review: Transformers Roll Out

Album Review – Cybertronic Spree: Transformers 1986

Ok, c’mon Trev, be objective here…

Do not come across like a teenage girl at a ‘One Direction’ reunion concert screaming ‘Oh they are so dreamy!  I want to have their babies!’ 

Be harsh mate, be scathing, pull apart song by song to find any fault so that you can give a frank assessment of this CD….

 

 fuck it, I can’t! Its just too good!

 

Ahem.  I got my Cybertronic Spree CD this week.  I kinda like it.

 

About the Band

For those that don’t know, Cybertronic Spree is a true fan success story.  A bunch of singers and musicians came together about six or so years ago, dressed in awesome looking self-made Transformers costumes and sang songs from the Transformers 1986 movie.

It proved popular.  Amongst us TF fans it proved really popular.  So much so that they started getting gigs, appearing at various conventions and even earlier this year got their own IDW Comic Cover variant.

 

 

And so a Crowdfund Project is born!

So riding on the wave of that popularity they decided to Crowdfund a CD where they played 10 of the songs from the 86 movie. CD title appropriately ‘Transformers 1986‘.

The reaction was better than they could have hoped.  It all sold out fast.  I mean, really fast!  So then they reopened the Crowdfund and then that all sold out.  

So they now had the money and went to work recording their album.  Digital copies to those who contributed to their Crowdfunding went out about a month ago.

As much as I would have loved getting a signed poster, my funds at the time meant I was only able to order the CD.  And when it came to writing a review I wanted to review the CD, as I knew the digital copy I received would not do the music justice played over the shitty little speakers on my computer.  

So having received the CD this week, I set up my sound system in the disused outdoor carport on the farm, where the acoustics are puzzingly good and I could crank the volume to max, pulled out a deck chair, cracked a beer and sit back to listen to the music.

 

It did not disappoint.

 

The Music

This is a fucking awesome CD!  Damn they did a good job.  Whilst this CD is primarily a Crowdfunded fan project, you can tell that these are all singers and musicians who know what they are doing and have a genuine love for the material.

As someone who has the soundtrack to the 86 movie and knows every song by heart, it was so cool to hear these songs faithfully redone but with the twist of having new musicians and, most importantly to differentiate them from the originals, new vocalists.

Damn Arcee has a set of pipes on her!  Don’t get me wrong, Spike is a good backup vocalist and Hot Rod can sing his arse off, but Arcee has a voice that can pick you up and pound you flat with its power!  I’ve always loved female vocalists who sound like they could kick my arse.  I shudder to think of the poor singer inside the costume – how many TF Fanboys must there be out there she is currently starring in the fantasies of (my own efforts to get my good wife to dress as a Transformer have always met failure, as public record will testify).  As all the original songs were sung by men, to have Arcee singing half the songs and providing backup vocals on many others gives the songs a new and unique twist, breathing new life to tunes you’ve been listening to for the past 33 years.

Full credit to the musicians too, The guitarists (Unicron & Hot Rod) provide those tasty big 80’s riffs big time and Rumble the Drummer pounds those skins like a true professional.  

 

This CD hits all the right notes for me.  The Touch gave me goosebumps, Dare gave me a nostalgic lump in my throat.  I didn’t understand why they chose to have Hunger as the last track on the album until I heard the end.  That massive instrumental finale right at the end of the song kicks so much arse you wanna put your fist through a wall, headbutt a tank and yell to the world that every other sci-fi genre sucks Quintesson Balls compared to ours!

 

So yes, I liked this CD.

 

 

Cybertronic Spree, all I can say to you is (cue eye-rolling song lyric references):

 

You’ve indeed got both the touch and the power

You’ve got the passion and the pride.  It can’t be denied.

When it came to getting this CD made you let nothing stand in your way and us fans count ourselves among the fortunate ones.

 

And if you ever decide to tour internationally, I can guarantee you a sold out show in Sydney.  The tendrils of Big Angry Trev will twist throughout the Aussie Fandom to hound TF geeks out of parents basements, comic stores and online chatrooms across the land to fill a venue in your honour (with extra security to keep the fanboys off Arcee).

All I ask in return is that you let me get on stage and do the ‘AAAAAAAA-AAAAA’ at the end of Instruments of Destruction 😉 

 

 

 

Extra Merchandise

As I mentioned, I was only able to afford at the time the CD.  However fellow Transformer Enthusiast and Skydiving Superstar Brendan was able to get some more of the merch

 

 

Got something to add to this review?  Pop it in the comments section below!

 

Related Articles:

*Album Review: Transformers Roll Out

*Album Review: Metal Resistance by Baby Metal

 

 

 

Movie Review – Godzilla: King of the Monsters

Godzilla. One of the longest running film franchises in history. Dozens of movies with people in rubber suits bashing each other, while the audience tries to believe they are giant monsters near the size of Trypticon.

Over the last 20 years Western film companies have tried to have a crack at portraying the big fella using CGI. There was the terrible 1998 movie with Matthew Broderick (he should have made Ferris Buller and then retired) which was so maligned that no one in the US dared have another go for another 16 years. The 2014 Godzilla movie was better, but out of a 2 hour movie Godzilla was on screen for less than 12 minutes, which irritated fans who wanted to see more of him and less of the other monsters.

So here we are in 2019 and a sequel to the 2014 movie has been made. Godzilla: King of the Monsters, is the third Western-Based Godzilla movie and picks up 5 years after the last film. And something has happened.

Something amazing.

Something incredible!

Something stupendous!

THE WORLD FINALLY HAS A KICK-ARSE GODZILLA MOVIE!

This movie is AWESOME! I mean it is really damn good! No rubber suited monsters bashing into each other like the old days. No drawn out plots where they either totally discard what has come before or else never show you Godzilla. This Godzilla movie is giant monster balls to the wall action from start to finish, leaving the audience happy yet drained after getting such a huge huge monster fix.

 

The Plot

Let’s be frank, any plot in a Godzilla film is simply there to facilitate reasons for giant monsters to fight each other. This film is no different. Godzilla has been lurking under the ocean for the last 5 years, monitored by Monarch. Monarch is a worldwide organization that monitors Titans (giant monsters). All are asleep bar Godzilla, and Mothra who is just beginning to hatch and go into her larval stage. Without going into painful detail about all the things that happen in a two hour movie the synopsis is that one of the scientists has figured out how to communicate with Titans via a box that makes noises they respond to – The Orca. She then goes nuts with a bunch of other nutters and goes around the world trying to wake them all up so that they can ‘restore the natural order’ that humanity has stuffed up.

This plan goes (predictably) wrong. They wake up Ghidorah, who it turns out is not part of the natural order (being from space and everything) who as an Alpha wakes up all the other Titans on his own terms, via sonic noises, and orders them to start destroying the world, essentially terraforming it for his own needs. Of course Godzilla, being the other Alpha, doesn’t take kindly to this and lots of fights ensure.

Plenty of other stuff in the movie involving human families and governments and history, but honestly the above is really all you need to know.

 

The Visuals

F*cking superb! None of this crap where the monsters are hidden in fog or smoke or behind a building half the time. There are right out there where you can see them and they are BIG. I don’t think any Godzilla movie has portrayed such a sense of scale before! Godzilla is that big that destroyed aircraft wreckage lands on his shoulder like a speck of dirt and he doesn’t even notice. Ghidorah is f*cking MASSIVE! And looks friggin scary as! If I had been one of the humans in that movie my mantra would have been “Let’s get to the other side of the planet and hide under the biggest rock we can find right f*cking now!” The special effects are done excellently too, mainly portrayed as the different energy blasts the Titans aim at each other, but it’s certainly the CGI monsters that steal the show.

 

The Sound Effects

Ya gotta love that Godzilla’s roar has hardly changed over the last 70 years. Think of the roar from the T-Rex in Jurassic Park but dialled up to 11. Thankfully the noises made by the other monsters such as Ghidorah and Mothra have been updated and sound appropriate to creatures that size, rather than random keys on a synthesizer. Big, loud, deafening, that’s what one should expect from a movie like this and that is what you get.

 

The Lore

Now I am one of those geeks that actually knows a great deal of the Godzilla lore. And this movie has really done its best to keep faithful to what has come before. Yes it’s ridiculous lore but it’s about giant monsters so if you don’t like it – what did you expect? Everything from a Mothra being reborn/hatched when the previous one dies, Godzilla feeding on nuclear power and Ghidorah being able to regenerate heads and coming from space – it’s all faithful to what has come before. The only new thing for a classic character added is Rodan being born of fire – he comes out of a volcano with smoking wings and even appears to have some kind of heated plasma for blood. But given in the past all he was was a flying lizard, it’s quite a nice addition for him. There are also some new Titans on the scene in very minor roles, which adds to the ever expanding creature cast list for the franchise.

 

So worth a watch?

Hells yes it is! I’d say this is the best Godzilla movie ever made by far! But it still isn’t perfect by any stretch. The pacing is great with the exception of a prolonged sequence where Monarch try to revive Godzilla later in the movie – this could have easily been cut to save 20 unnecessary minutes. There was a bit too much human interest in the final fight scenes – it detracts from the action by constantly cutting to them trying to save a main characters daughter, when at this point you really just wanna watch the monsters fight. The Orca plot device is relied upon too heavily as well, too much of what happens in the movie is based around a machine that looks like it should be sat on the back seat of a Delorian.

But these are minor quibbles. This is what a Godzilla movie is meant to be! Brilliant action sequences of giant monsters squaring off and that is what you get. No waiting for an hour for them to put in an appearance, it gets going pretty quick and from that point on pretty often. Mothra and Rodan are both done very well; it speaks to the size of this movie that Rodan, who not only takes out dozens of fighter jets  by performing an aerial spin, but completely decimates a city simply by flying over it, is definitely a supporting player. It now remains to be seen if the third movie which is slated to come out next year, where Godzilla versus Kong, has a hope of comparing to the catastrophic creature carnage that this flick gives you in spades.

Go get your Zilla on baby! And watch out for Ghidorah – he’s one bad Mothra F*cka!

 

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Movie Review – Bumblebee

Over the past 5 live-action Transformer movies we’ve come to expect certain things.  From the humans:  wacky, half-psychotic characters and overly-sexualized stereotypes.  From the robots:  zero characterization and dialogue, overly-complex bodies and fight scenes one has no hope of following.  Throw in a few convoluted plots and some smutty humour and badda-bing badda-boom, another TF movie pumped out by Hollywood.

However Transformers 6 – Bumblebee, seems to be something different.  Something GOOD!

What a delightful breath of fresh air this movie is!  It contains none of the issues listed above, and replaces them with relatable characters, great dialogue and a lot of heart!

 

The Plot (yes, there is one this time!)

The Bumblebee movie is actually a prequel to the last 5 movies, set in 1987.  Bumblebee comes to Earth, after a 10 minute opening scene which will have every G1 fan looking for the tissues for their eye ducts (and possibly elsewhere) due to the amount of fan service contained within.  The first 10 minutes is based on Cybertron and showcases G1 characters actually looking like G1 characters, still in their Cybertronian modes having a huge battle!  They are all there Soundwave, Shockwave & The Seekers all blasting away at the likes of Wheeljack, Arcee, Brawn, Ratchet and so on.  Seeing the battle will be lost, Optimus Prime orders the Autobots to evacuate Cybertron and sends B-127 to prepare a base for them on the aforementioned Earth.

Arriving on Earth, B-127 is almost immediately attacked by the US Army (their involvement one thing that has not changed) and then near killed by Blitzwing, the only character in the movie bearing no resemblance to his G1 incarnation (besides having a jet mode).  B-127 loses his voice, loses his memory, and manages to scan a Volkswagen Beetle  before going dormant.

We now get introduced to the heroine of the story – Charlie.  Just turned 18.  But unlike Sam Witwicky she doesn’t seem like a nutjob.  And unlike every female character before her, she seems to dress in a way that doesn’t border on the pornographic.  In fact, Charlie turns out to be a very endearing character that the viewer comes to care about.  This was a very smart move on the part of the new writers and directors, going with a female-teen instead of a male and keeping sexuality completely out of it.  It stops them retracing old ground from the TF1 and good on them.  In fact all the humans are fairly likeable and all seem to serve a purpose to the plot, rather than being thrown in for the sake of it.

You know what? It IS as sweet as this pic suggests!

At the same time this is happening, the only two completely new robot characters in the movie – the Decepticons Shatter and Dropkick make an appearance.  In fact starting off by torturing Cliffjumper on one of Saturn’s moons looking for B-127.  They soon find their way to Earth, adopt car alt-modes, (and later secondary flight alt-modes) and search for the missing Autobot in order to find Optimus.  They trick the human army into letting them use their equipment and the race is on!

Bad guys with dialogue – what a twist!

From there it could be said to be the usual.  Charlie reactivates B-127, freaks out, he freaks out, they bond, they have some loveable adventures, they get found by the military, he saves her, she saves him, he saves her again, they get found by the Cons, have a huge fight and then save the day.  It’s kinda predictable but is an enjoyable ride and very entertaining to watch.

 

Continuity Errors

Being a prequel, this movie should match up with the previous 5 and set the stage for TF1.  It doesn’t.  There are multiple continuity errors brought up in this, such as Bumblebee only arriving in 1987 when yet in The Last Knight he was shown to be present during WWII.  Optimus arrives on Earth that same year rather than in 2007.  The Transformers know English rather than learning it from the world wide web.  There are many more but you get the drift.  To be honest, this really should have been a reboot rather than a prequel, as this is far better than anything that has come before and I’d rather have the new ideas than the old.

 

G1 Goodness!

What?! Arcee isn’t a motorcycle that goes around on one wheel and has a face like a smashed in colander?!

For your G1 fans, this is the movie you always wanted.  Bumblebee is a VW Bug.  Optimus is a short-nosed truck with a big silver trailer.  The Seekers on Cybertron are Tetrajets.  Everyone looks like everyone hoped they would all the way back in 2007.  There are plenty of Easter Eggs, it brought joy to my heart to see my son whoop with joy when Bee started playing ‘You’ve got the Touch’ when encouraging Charlie to dive.  It’s… it’s just beautiful!

 

A PG Rating

Another smart move made by the makers of this film is making it PG rated.  A lot of the adult Transformer fans have become pretty jaded from the last four films in particular, so this enabled the producers to open this flick up to a younger audience untarnished by Michael Bay scrotum jokes.  And it’s worked.  My son turned 6 three days before TF6 was released, so it was perfect to take him and his friends to.  And they loved it!  Some kids that age might find a few things scary, but most will enjoy it.  No blood from the 2 humans that get killed, minimal swearing, zero sexuality.  It was a smart way to go.

 

So worth watching?

Yes.  YES.  A thousand times yes!  This is the movie we hoped for many years ago!  So much heart and character and humour and joy!  Great for kids, amazing for G1 fans; the only ones disappointed will be those in love with the Bayverse and those folk are hard to find these days.  Take the whole family out to see this, you will not be sorry!

 

Got something to add?  Pop it in the comments section below!

 

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Book Review: A Die Hard Christmas

Ask nearly any guy over the age of 30 what their favourite Christmas movie is and the answer will come back like a shot – ‘Die Hard’.

Yep, Die Hard 2 was set at Xmas as well and was also awesome, and there are plenty of other great Xmas flicks, but Die Hard – like John McClane – always wins.  Before digital special effects, before movies going for nearly three hours, there was a cop caught in Nakatomi Plaza crawling around air ducts killing bad guys and making smart-arse quips.

Die Hard was AWESOME!

And now, three decades after the movie’s release it’s been put into book form – an Illustrated Holiday Classic!

Taking is structure from ‘Twas the Night Before Xmas’, this Xmas book outlines the movies story from start to finish, in a jolly Xmas narrative which will have any fan of the Die Hard franchise going ‘F*ck yeah!’

 

This book is definitely intended for grown-ups, as what Die Hard book would be complete without all the gratuitous blood and violence?

  

I don’t want to go into too much detail as it is a short book (but quite reasonably priced at roughly $16au) and if I put too much into this review I will spoil it for people.  So all I will add is that if you are struggling to think of a pressie for someone special this Xmas, and that someone special is in particular an over 30’s guy, then GO BUY THIS BOOK!  HE WILL FRIGGIN LOVE IT!

And I’ll let the book sign off, as there is no way it could be done any cooler:

Got something to add?  Pop it in the comments section below!

 

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Book Review: Deadpool – Drawing the Merc with a Mouth

 

Movie Review – Tremors 6: A Cold Day in Hell

Tremors.  A flick about big monster worms that come out from under the ground and eat people.

That’s what most people think of when you mention a Tremors movie.  What most people don’t know is that it isn’t just the one movie – there have been 4 sequels, a prequel and even a season-long TV series! 

Tremors is actually one of the few Sci-Fi series that never seems to contradict itself.  There is a coherency throughout all its iterations, ranging from the evolution of the Graboids (the big underground man-eating worms) to the the individual human story arcs, even the very minor characters.  Plus the movies are just damn fun!

A ‘chick flick’ this is not

For my money Tremors 1 & 2 were by far the best of the flicks, and incidentally the only movies to get cinema release.  The next three were all straight-to-DVD releases and whilst good (especially Number 4 which was the prequel) none quite captured the fun of the first two.  Today we will be looking at the latest instalment in the Tremors franchise Tremors 6: A Cold Day in Hell.

 

The story starts off, as you can imagine, with a Graboid attack!  What makes this attack unique among all those featured in previous films is that it takes place in the snow, specifically a glacial area in Canada.  And when Graboids attack, who do you call for?  Burt Gummer – that’s who!

Have gun – will reluctantly travel

Burt Gummer (played by Michael Gross) is by far the star of the Tremors series, the only character to have appeared in all six films (though it was his ancestor in the prequel) as well as the TV series.  Burt is a jaded survivalist gun nut who likes living in Perfection Nevada because of its very low human population (and those that do live there often get eaten anyway) and its remoteness making it hard for the Government to interfere with him.

By the 6th movie, Burt is the only resident left in Perfection and is living in the run down remains of the town store.  However a visit from firstly a taxman saying Burt is about to lose what little he has, then one of the Canadian researchers along with Burt’s illegitimate son Travis (introduced in Tremors 5) prompts Mr Gummer back into action.

And from here the plot is really like all other Tremors films.  There are Graboids to deal with along with the occasional Ass-Blaster (another stage of the Graboid life-cycle first introduced in Tremors 3).  The Ass-Blasters retain their upgraded CGI look from T5 as do the Graboids – personally I thought both looked better before the reimagining, especially the Ass-Blasters which had previously resembled avian versions of Shriekers (another Graboid life-phase).  I would have liked to see some Shriekers included since its been a while since they were trotted out.  Gone is the concept of the Graboids three serpent-like tongues being detachable (T5) which personally I found to be out of line with established Graboid evolution (yes, I AM that much of a fan), however the tongues have retained their new power of sight (also introduced in T5) – you see one sneaking through a window to grab a lady and others dodging machete blows from Travis.

Ass-Blaster or Galgamex vagina?

There are minor plot lines contained within.  For instance Burt is slowly dying of a parasite he got from being eaten alive by a Graboid (T3) and needs liquid from a live Graboid in order to be healed.  There are DARPA agents that intend to bio-engineer Graboids into weapons and so on.  One of the key researchers, Valerie McKee, turns out to be the daughter of the two main characters from the very first movie.  But all of this is background noise to what is essentially another movie along the lines of a ‘Don’t move!  They sense vibration through the ground!’ mentality of your standard human versus Graboid movie we all expect.

Michael Gross and a bunch of actors you probably wont see in the 7th flick

Is this movie worth a watch?  Well if you are a fan of the series then of course!  Michael Gross does a stellar job as Burt Gummer yet again and there are monsters galore to shoot or be devoured by.  However if you are looking for something new here that you haven’t seen before from the franchise you will be disappointed.  Besides at the beginning of the film there are not even any action sequences in the snow, the remainder of the storyline takes place in a dry ‘hot spot’ which exists within the otherwise snowy landscape.

In short this film adds to the storyline of the human characters involved in Perfection but there is nothing new monster-wise and it lacks the fun and character of the first two movies.  However for those loyal followers of the series, it is at least another 90-minutes of Gummer fun.

 

Now take two teaspoons of cement and harden the hell up!

Got anything to say about this movie?  Would love to read it in the comments section below!

Movie Review – Teen Titans Go!

In the latest cartoon show to be translated to the big screen, we have been presented with Teen Titans Go! To the Movies.  The cartoon show had a very polarizing effect on fans of this particular team from the DC universe.  Some fans love the off-kilter zaniness, constant 80’s references and dashes of potty humour.  Other fans hated what they called a bastardization of a classic team, the childish antics and the low quality animation.  Personally I have been in the first group and found the show very funny to watch on Saturday mornings with my son – even if it has left him with a penchant to constantly ‘Do the Booty Scooty’.

This movie could be said to be DC’s response to Marvel’s Deadpool.  The Deadpool Movies have been immensely popular, made fun of the whole Super Hero Movie franchise, constantly broke the fourth wall and demonstrated that super heroes can be funny!  DC movies have been accused of being too dark, too overly dramatic and frankly not much fun.  This is what Teen Titans Go! attempts to rectify.

 

The plot of this movie is simple – every serious super hero is getting their own movie and the Teen Titans, particularly Robin, want one too so they and he can be considered real super heroes.  The problem is they are a bunch of goofballs that spend more time eating waffles and singing songs than actually fighting crime.

So off they go to get themselves an arch nemesis in order to be taken seriously and are provided with Slade, the main antagonist from the Teen Titans cartoon from the late 90’s.  They are summarily trounced by him, so decide they need to come up with another plan.

The pacing of the first half of the movie runs a bit too slow.  In fact nearing the half way point I was actually getting bored, which is saying a lot considering how much I love animated movies.  It lacked the banter that makes the cartoon show so much fun – instead of constantly arguing with each other and the team as a whole picking on Robin, they act as one unit and they always follow Robins lead without complaint.  Much like the My Little Pony Movie, they have removed one of the key elements that made the cartoon show as popular as it is.

 

Thankfully the second half picks up the pace.  The heroes time travel to get rid of all the other heroes so that they are the only ones to make a movie about, leading to some funny scenes where they alter other heroes origin stories.  When that fails they end up actually having a decent fight scene with Slade which leads to getting a movie.  Of course by now the audience starts to twig that the movie producer is actually Slade in disguise and uses this to break the Teen Titans up so that he can get back a crystal they stole and take over the world.

The final act of the movie is all the regular super heroes, now mind controlled, hunting the heroes and then the Teen Titans facing off against Slade in a giant robot.  Another good fight scene ensues and they naturally save the day, earning the respect of all the other heroes in the process.

 

This isn’t a bad movie on the whole, but it isn’t great.  As mentioned, it lacks a lot of the humour that the cartoon show does.  There are a few funny bits, such as the Titans all using a prop toilet that doesn’t work, the references to the Back to the Future movies and Robins final line of the film.  The movie even references Deadpool from which it draws inspiration – they mix up Slade with Deadpool, talk to the camera, lampoon the whole super hero genre and have cross-universe gags such as Stan Lee making a cameo even though it is a DC movie.  However much of the humour falls flat and lacks that certain spark, the Batman LEGO Movie delivered far more chuckles.  Besides Robin there is zero character development with the other Titans and Slade is an OK villain at best.

If your kid is a massive Teen Titans fan such as mine is, it’s worth taking them to see it on the big screen in the short time it will still be in the cinemas.  However if you and/or your kids simply like the show and not love it, you can wait for the movie to come to DVD before watching.

 

Got something to say about this movie?  Would love to read it in the comments section below!

 

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Movie Review – Deadpool 2

Deadpool was the movie that surprised everyone with its popularity at the box office.  Not only did it out-earn the vast majority of its peer super hero movies, but received rave reviews across the board for both its humour and it’s adult take on the comic book world.  So not surprisingly, this year we have been treated to Deadpool 2.

 

Deadpool 2 takes place not long after the end of the previous movie, with Wade and his love interest deciding to start a family.  But naturally, she gets shot and killed (even before the opening credits!) and thus the stage is set for Deadpool 2 go on a journey of heartbreak and self-discovery.

First off I have to say that this is one of the few times I genuinely got choked up at a movie.  I enjoyed the weird romance from the first flick and loved the character played by Morena Baccarin.  So I was genuinely upset when I saw her die, and I’m not a man who has much, if any, interest in love stories usually.

Deadpool subsequently tries to kill himself, but since he is incapable of dying all he manages is to blow himself to pieces, those pieces collected by Collosus and returned to the X-Mansion where Deadpool heals his body, if not his heart.

It’s Deadpools first mission as a trainee X-man that sets up the rest of the story.  They go to subdue an out of control young mutant from a orphanage, but in the process Deadpool finds that the boy has been abused so kills one of the attendants.  This results in both he and the boy going to a prison where mutant abilities are subdued.  Wade starts dying all over again since his healing factor no longer retards his cancer and when you think things can’t get worse, Cable shows up and starts blasting!

Cable has been around in the comics for many years as a time-travelling violent hero, but not everyone realizes that he and Deadpool have a long history together and even shared a comic series for a few years.  Thus Cable was a sensible and worthy addition to the second flick and is portrayed very well.  Domino is another character introduced in this movie that has been associated with Deadpool for a long time, and despite lacking the sarcasm and pale make-up she…

 

… you know what?  Lets stop with the plot synopsis and character dissection!  There are so many things that warrant inclusion and it’ll take too long!

 

Let’s just say this is a damn fine flick!  Yes, not as great as the first one, but the first one was that fantastic that I reckon that’s forgivable.  This movie is darker than it’s predecessor (and considering the first one was full of constant violence and murder that’s saying a lot) and Deadpool isn’t quite as flippant in his discourse.  But his struggle to save a kid that doesn’t want to be saved works well as a plotline, there are a ton of Easter Eggs for those who are familiar with the comics and the humour and action never cease.  Two stand-out scenes are definitely when Deadpool’s new X-Force meet gruesome ends not long after being introduced (and thus totally Lampooning so many other Marvel team movie titles) and when Cable comes to Blind Al’s house to find Deadpool growing back the bottom half of his body, all of his bottom half.

 

So I heartily recommend Deadpool 2.  Ryan Reynolds has nailed it once again and it is indeed a most worthy successor to the first flick, and whatever you do don’t leave when the credits start to roll, otherwise you will miss some of the funniest post-movie sequences ever!

 

Deadpool 2 gets 5 out of 5 baby butts!

 

Blu Ray Review: Deadpool

Art Book Review: Deadpool – Drawing the Merc with a Mouth